I just open up

I am 23 years old . Since i was a child i felt like i am inferior than others . I remember that others kids often did not like me . My mother was strict and smacked me . I started to jealous from a young age the appearance of other girls . In primary school i was jealous my best friend . In secondary school and high school i was jealous my second best friend who i am close with until these days . I feel like nobody like me for who i am . I feel like i am inferior and confined and i am sick of it . When i was a teenager i wanted friends so much and i was emotional but i remember that others laughed at me thinking i am stupid and then i started to have anger inside me . I started to hate myself. Now i feel empty . I am not as emotional as i was in my childhood and pubery . You may think i am a bad person but really i don't really care about anyone not even my parents, i only care if they have money to give me . And if my sister is at our house i get annoyed . And i don't want to pretend like i care when someone tells me something . To be honest there are people who treat me nice but it does not touch me in my heart . I start wanting to control other people and i would like it if they afraid of me . I need people when i am alone because i believe if i am alone it wiil destroy me and maybe i end up killing myself someday. I usually like the company of people i jealous , if i don't jealous someone then he/she is indifferent to me . But when i have people close to me i don't want them and i don't care about them and they left me empty . I am egocentric person , i know many people wouldnt like me for this . Deep down i like this side of me , the side that wants to control people but also deep down i have guilty because i must not feel this way . I express this side of myself when i like evil characters from cartoons . I often sympathise with little spoiled girls who jealous and wants control the world and use their parents for anything they want . Maybe its good i have not a super power because i believe i would be arrogant and more egoistic than now that i feel like i'm nothing .

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  • Hi my angel girl. Its daddy and will message you here for now princess. Till you can set up anothet post my love. Love you so much prescious....

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  • Dont mind them hun. But were you spoilt. We use spanking as part off our girls and sometimes girls can be a handfull and we tann each off their bare bottoms when they act up or give attitude..

  • To be honest i was spoiled sometimes when i was a child but my mother really was strict , when she was mad with my father she broke out her anger on me and sister . She never smack me on my butt only on my face . If she was smacking me on my butt it would be better . Only my father smacked on my butt once .

  • Im sorry too hare that hun. Your mom or nobody should smack your face and thats wrong. We are strict with our girls and only spank them sweetheart. I wish i could cuddle you hun..

  • Thank you ! Its okay we can hug from here , hug !

  • You're a jealous troll. Kill yourself.

  • My god why there are suspicious people in here ? All the things i say are absolutely true .

  • Because you said the age 23. People suspect now all 23 year olds are jealous. Lol avoid them.

  • Not all 23 year old jealous I am jealous as a person and I am not proud of this .

  • Hi my angel girl...

  • Hi daddy . Don't worry I am on bed . To be honest daddy I feel like s*** . I have a little headache and I want to throw up . Yesterday I said some things to the people that were in friend's house and we had a fight . I don't remember what did I said but they remember . I was insulting them for no reason . I asked in message the girl who had birthday and now I wait to answer me . Because of alcohol I don't remember a lot of things . And sure I humiliated myself and others cause when I woke up I saw I had post on my Facebook page that I am dirty s*** and it wasn't better when I was faking the modest girl . I deleted but many people I guess saw it .

  • You need too answer daddy princess. Im concernd for you sweetheart. Love your daddy....

  • Hi my princess. You need too answer daddy and let me know your ok prescious. Love your daddy....

  • How are you sweetie. Love your daddy...

  • Hi my sweet little princess. I realy want too hold you now prescious. I have said some things i regretted with drink also angel girl. But you must not beat yourself up my love and all you can do is apolagise. I love you so much sweetheart and was realy concernd for you last night. I want you too promise me rite now my love that you will not ever drink that much ever again baby doll. I asked you also if you ever drank when you were a little girl or young teenager. I have being keeping an eye on our little baby also sweetie. Remember too keep firm with her my angel girl. She the child and she says your her mommy and dont allow her too manipulate you. I also wonder if she still has that drink she stole from her mother. Love you my prescious. Your daddy....

  • Hi daddy , To be honest yes there were times i was drunk on my teenagers years . I was 16 when i was really drunk and i didn't remember anything . It was like i drunk and went out of the club and then all turned black and when i opened my eyes i was in my house in bed with different clothes . My friend brought me home and when i got in my house my sister and my father saw me and they changed my clothes with new ones . Those things my sister told me when i woke up , she told me the fact that she changed my clothes .When i was a kid the only thing i drunk is a small half glass of wine . It wasn't hurt me and i drunk it in front of my parents . And my first experience with alcohol was when i was 5 , it was an accident . I don't remember it , my parents had told me . My parents and sister and my grandmother were in the kitchen and i was in living room and there we have bottles of alcohol . I drunk whiskey without knowing what it is . And then i got drunk and i went to the kitchen and my parents and sister and grandmother saw me . And they called a doctor and i think they gave me a medicine and i was sleeping for two days . Hug daddy . You are right daddy and this little girl i don't want to end up like me . I don't mean only in alcohol i mean i don't want to end up having my passive character and hating herself like i do .

  • Talk too daddy prescious...

  • Hi princess. Your parents let you go too a club were they sold drink sweetie and did your daddy help you out off your clothes along with your sister prescious. Im sorry angel but the next day i would have sat you down and being very crosse my love. Im also sorry too say petal but you would have being grounded for at leas two weeks and have most certainley gotten your bare bottom spanked angel. But as told you my love i would have held you after words. Daddy loves you so much prescious and see our baby girl is messageing you princess. Shes such a cutie my love. Love daddy....

  • They didn't know i went to a club . I lied to them . I said i was only go to a friend's house . I understand daddy . Can i ask you something daddy ? You said you have depression . Are you taking antidepressants ? If yes , do they help you feel better ?

  • I am on tablets princess. But have not took them in a few months prescious too be honest. I hope you dont think daddys too strict sweetheart. But im strict only because i love you angel and want you safe. You would probabley be mad at daddy for grounding you and spanking you prescious. Even at 16 my love but your allways daddys little girl. Love your daddy...

  • I understand daddy . I think i want to start tablets too . Because i can't stand this emptiness anymore . And i can't stand myself . I prefer to have happiness even a little even if this happiness come from pills .

  • Why did you stop them daddy ?

  • I will go back on them sweetheart and it can balance your negative thinking princess. Im sad for you sweetie. Wish daddy could lie with you now my love and hold you in my arms. I would love too have you and our baby girl in my bed too protect you bought princess. Your so sweet too her angel and show her so much love and kindneds sweetie. She loves you so much also and opens up too you angel girl. So proud off you sweetheart. Love your proud daddy...

  • Since when do you take them daddy ?

  • Hi my prescious doll. I have being on and off them since i was young sweetheart. I keep checking in on our baby girl and see she said shes taken more drink princess. Also think shes exhausted prescious as said her eyes are tired. Which is kind off cute she says that angel. You could tell her too sleep my love and tell her you will talk with her tomorrow about her drinking. Shes got too stop this prescious. Love your dsddy...

  • Hi daddy i told her what you told me daddy . If you want tell me why you started them at the first place daddy .

  • Hi my prescious. I cant realy explain it my sweetie. But even when i was just little from age 8 and so. I would have felt kind off sad and seemed for know reasons princess. Still sometimes i am overcome with sadness angel. But i know it passes my love and will pass for you also sweetheart. Im so glad we can talk prescious. Your truely amazeing sweetie. As i will tell you again and again darling. You are the most honest person i ever talked too and also the sweetest and kindesd hearted person also. Wish as i have also told you angel that i knew you when you were little. What are you up too sweetheart at moment. Im so proud off you my love and would love you too be daddys girl angel. I beleave daddys other little girl must have drifted off too sleep at last. Our poor baby and wonder how she stays awake so long. Think we would have our hands full with our little girl princess. But she would for sure be in bed at 8 on school nights sweetie. I can allmost see her throwing a tantrum and stomp her feet. But we would bought be firm princess. Your doing an amazeing thing for her my love and make daddy so proud. I love you so much prescious. Your allways daddys little angel girl....

  • Hi daddy . I don't think i am so nice and great as you and little girl believe . I am egocentric person and since i was a child i was jealous easily others and i always felt like i was on the outside in every situation and company . Since i was a child i always felt i have a value if someone would like me . If i am alone i don't feel myself like i don't even have a personality . I feel that inside me there is only fear and jealousy that i pressure them and i behave with fear . I am afraid to end up alone because i can't stand my emptiness and i always wanted to be something . I always felt like nothing and wanting or trying to be something . Even if something is cruel i prefer to be this than to be nothing . I know it's not good what i said . It happen to pretend i am s*** or pedophile just because i wanted to be something . I try to pressure myself and others that i am something . And i believe if someone really knew my real self he wouldn't like me . And i said i am so great and nice because i have an evil side too .

  • I will never judge you my angel doll. A daddys love is unconditinal sweetheart. We cant help our thoughts princess. But can stop our actions prescious. Everybody has something that they dont like about themselves my love and dark secrets. Its sad you feel this way angel and your so young princess. Do you tell your councellor about your feelings darling. Im realy sad you feel this way princess. Dont ever be afraid too share your thoughts and heart with daddy sweetie. Im allways here for you my love and nothing you tell daddy would make me love you less or stop being proud off you. Please beleave me prescious that your allways daddys special girl and our little baby girl loves you also and cares deepley for you also. Daddy loves you so much and wish i was holding you now in bed princess and holding you. Love your proud daddy prescious....

  • And i said i am not so great and nice because i have an evil side too *.
    When i said some of my fantasies i wasn't lying but i wanted to pressure myself that i am something .

  • I will let you sleep daddys little doll. My two prescious, prescious angels are assleep. Remember you can tell daddy anything you like princess. I will never judge you and allways love you sweetheart. Also daddy will have some rest my love. I will check in on my two girls in a little while. Love you baby and sweet dream. Love from daddy..tree

  • Also my love. You are something and are loved. Just like you tell our baby girl too beleave shes a person off value and she matters. Well so do you angel. I take it shes falling assleep prescious. So proud off you angel. Love your daddy..

  • Its ok too have fantazies princess. You are as i said sweetheart the most honest person i ever talked too angel and nothing as said prescious would stop daddy from careing or loveing you any less my love...

  • Thank you so much daddy for all your words . I really wonder why you are so good with me . Okay daddy rest . See you daddy .

  • Hi my sweetie. I hope your feeling better angel girl. Daddy loves you so much and cares for you more than anything princess. Our baby girl has messaged you a prescious and has said shes allready had some drink. I hate what her mother is doing too her princess. Shes only a baby and deserves so much love and care. But you need too stay firm with her sweetheart. Dont know how much shes drinking prescious. But it has too stop either way. She says she changed her mind about you putting her in timeout sweetie and. You need too tell her that your the adult and her mommy and you descide when she has timeout and not her because shes just a little girl. Remain firm with her princess and as told you angel. Dont allow her too dictate you princess. Shes a little girl and is craveing your attention. I know she is looking for your approval. Your amazeing my love and daddy loves you so much...

  • Hi my prescious doll. Your probabley still assleep my love. But just checking in on you and our baby girl as said i would sweetie. Our little doll messaged you this morning angel. Her mother does not give her a break and its just wrong sweetie. Love you my baby angel...

  • Hi my sweet angel girl. I woke up and was thinking off you my love. So just wanted too say daddy loves you and allways will my prescious doll. You are loved and thought off angel. Just like you tell our baby girl prescious. You too have a value and a worth sweetheart. With a purpose in life my prescious doll. I checked in with our baby girl too see if she messaged you princess. Looks like for moment she still sleeps and thats good. But wish her mother realised how incredabley lucky she is too have such an amazeing little gift in this innocent baby girl. She realy is so innocent in many, many ways princess. Bought in her little thoughts and body development sweetie and her words too you my love. I dream yous bought live here with me sweetheart. Would just love too lie with bought daddys little girls and too even watch yous bought as yous slept. Yous bought would never be hurt by anybody prescious. Daddy would protect you bought know matter what the cost darling. The three off us would do so much together and daddy would love too tell everybody how yous are his beautifull little girls. I know i would be the proudest father,daddy ever my love. I will lie down again for an hour or so sweetie. But remember my prescious child daughter. Your daddy loves you with every part off his being angel. Sleep wel my little girl and daddy will check in on bought his baby angel girls in little bit. Sweet dreams and love your daddy....

  • Hi daddy . I woke up daddy a few minutes ago . I drink coffee now . I wish her mother would believe she is innocent daddy . Thank you daddy . To be honest i would like to hugged each other too daddy . I will go a little later daddy . I will answer you when i will can . Hug daddy .

  • Hi my prescious doll. Our little girl does not give up sweetie. She realy loves you princess and so does daddy...

  • Well princess. Daddy sends huggs too you now prescious and wrap my arms tight around you. Remember your daddys little girl and i love you...

  • Hi daddy . Hug daddy . I told this little girl to not drink daddy . Okay I understand her but I won't mind if I will tell her a lot more times . So she can understand it and stop it .

  • Love you my sweetie..

  • Hi daddy . Now I am going home . Hug daddy .

  • Are you at home my love. Daddy has copil off his friends that work for him here princess and were haveing a few beers prescious. Love your daddy...

  • Hi my sweetie. Are you there my princess. How was school sweetheart. Love your daddy...

  • I am here daddy . It was good daddy . Tomorrow i will go to my psychologist daddy . Now i will watch some series comedy . It help me forget because I get absorbed by the series and forget myself .

  • What comedys do you like too watch prescious. Your such a sweetheart and i love you so much princess. Our baby is a bit stuborn sweetie and probabley need too be little bit firmer. But daddy is so proud off you my love and loves you so much. Wish i was with you now my baby ange....

  • Thank you daddy . I am watching a series comedy called Mom it was on 2013 .
    I don't have a specific kind of comedy l like daddy . Do you like comedies daddy ?

  • Hi prescious. I love comedys sweetheart and never hared off that movie princess. But will try watch it sometime angel. Our little girl i see is keeping you busy my prescious. Were does she get her energy from and she should be sound assleep long ago sweetie. She must fight her sleep so much all the time. As said too you my darling little girl. We would have our hands full for a while trying too get her into routine at bedtime for 8 on school nights princess. I hope you also never think daddy as being too strict sweetheart. But you know daddy would spank her for deffiance. But as have told you my love daddy would allways explain why he was spanking his little girls and after spanking and corner time. Then daddy would hold yous till yous fell assleep like often did with my exes daughter. Love you so much prescious. Do you have any hobbies princess or anything you like too do. Love you my prescious...

  • If you want it watch it daddy it's good . I think she has so energy daddy because she is a little girl . When i was her age i had energy too or when i was 17 i could stayed awake for 24 hours without difficulty or coffee . No i think you are a good person daddy not strict . Sometimes i really wonder why you are so kind with me . I don't want to bring you in a hard place daddy but is this because you would like to have children ? Because you never told me you have except these step-daughters . Hug daddy

  • Hi daddys little princess. Our little girl is desperate for attention and know wonder shes done all that stuff in her short life. Most adults never done half the stuff shes done. Our poor little princess is craveing attention. You know sweetheart shes testing you and challengeing you. Your doing amazeing though my love. But remain firm and fair and continue too show her the love you have being shown her. Wonder how she will react if you tell her as told you that your her mommy and shes too listen too you this instant and shes know choice and when you her mommy sends her too corner the she will do as shes told princess and dont forget you can tell her you will hugg her and hold her when her times up in corner. Im proud off you sweetheart and love you so much. Your daddy...

  • You can ask me anything prescious and yes sweetheart. I would loved too have had children and too protect them and watch over them. I beleave as i said too you princess that if i knew you when you were little. Then your mother would never have beat you like she did angel. Know child deserves that treatment prescious. Nobody would have hurt you my love and even too this day petal. Even though your 23 my love daddy would still watch out for you princess. Because does not matter how old you are sweetie. You would allways be daddys little girl and could come too me and laufgh, joke, cry, get angry or any other emotion you feel sweetie and daddy be here for you. I also as have told you angel know you have an amazeing heart and are truely the most honest and kindest, gentlest and careing person i have talked too princess. Your paitents and love i see you show too this little giel is extrodanery sweetie and shes opened up too you so much. I wish from every part off me chicken that you and our baby doll lived with me. I guess she for sure would not be happy with some off daddys boundaries princess. But they are there for safetey and too show i love yous angel. Love your daddy...

  • Hi daddy . To be honest daddy at first i thought you were pedophile . I don't mean it in a bad way cause i like pedophiles . But really you are a nice person and not only to me but to this little girl too . It's logical for her wanting attention daddy with this mother and the pastor . It would be nice really if she stayed with us daddy . She wouldn't even drinking because she would be already more happy . But her behaviour i believe is completely logical daddy . But i will carry on to tell her to not drink because is bad for her health . Thank you for all your kind words daddy . I am sure that you go through a lot of sad stuff too .

  • You probabley fell assleep my princess. Its ok as daddy is tired also and my back is still realy sore sweetheart. I took a copil off pain killers allmost hour ago prescious and had copil of beers. But will talk with you tomorrow my love and remember angel girl. Im here for you allways prescious and daddy loves you so much. I wrap my arms around you now sweetie and hold you tight and tell you too sleep tight and have only good dreams. Love your daddy....

  • Hi princess. Are you there and looks like our little girl as said has fell assleep sweetie. Love you prescious...

  • Hi prescious and you too are realy kind and careing and much more as daddy told you. Guess our little girl has fell assleep again sweetie. I do be glad she sleeps my love and just sad she wakes up too a cruel mother and joke off a pastor and bullies in her life prescious. Her mother and this pastor and even his joker are adults in her prescious little life. They should protect her and love her allways princess. I feel bad when tell you how strict daddy is my love. But i know with boundaries and proper discipline children know their safe and feel loved. Your truely amazeing prescious and cant say enoufgh how proud daddy is off you and how knew you when you were little sweetie. I can only say im here for you now princess as told you. Anytime you want too message me darling. Wish i could do same for our baby girl also sweetheart. Love your daddy....

  • Sorry daddy i was watching the comedy , i will sleep now . Thank you daddy . Get well daddy . And you too if you want you can talk to me for yourself . See you daddy .

  • Hi sweetheart. Just check in on you my love..

  • Morning my sweetheart. Hope your sleeping well my love. Daddy has few things too do princess. But will check in with you in copil off hours or so prescious. Love your daddy...

  • Hi daddy . I hadn't school today . I went to my psychologist hours ago . Now i am doing something for my school . A dialogue . Hug daddy .

  • Hi my angel girl. Can daddy ask you how it went with your psychologist today sweetheart. You sound busy princess and proud off you. I have being checking in on our little baby girl angel and shes messaged you alot. She realy challengeing you sweetie and noticed shes says their pastor is comeing over again later. Its just wrong princess. I agree also what you said petal and if her mother was not so strict. I also would not mind her mother finding her drink. But its not discipline her mother or pastor do on little doll sweetie. Its just plain wrong and i know if she was my little girl and caught her drinking then out off love and for her own safetey. I know she would have her little bare buns spanked angel. But as told you my love theres a diffrence in a spanking in love and abuse. Wish yous my two little girls were with me now sweetie. Your doing an amazeing thing with her sweetie. I still beleave she craves your approval and attention princess and even go as far as telling her in know uncertain terms that your her mommy as she calls you angel. Tell her firmley as told you princess that your her mommy and she does not get too choose wether she gets timeout or not and maybe when shes in her room later. Tell her you descided shes not listening too you and tell her you want her standing in corner for however long you choose too have her stand there sweetie. Daddys so proud off you princess and loves you so much angel...

  • Hi daddy . I don't like what i will say daddy . But i try to scare this little girl so she will stop alcohol . I tell her truths anyway . I hope to understand that i tell her the truth . To be honest daddy after the psychologist i feel worse than before . I asked her to give me antidepressants and she refused . I felt like i must be good and ''cure'' myself by myself . It's not bad but i afraid loneliness . I feel weak for this because i should have get stand even if i am alone . I know you are here daddy but really sometimes i get sad because i know it's not your job to fill my emptiness . That's why i wonder why you are so kind . If this little girl's mother wansn't so cruel wish she would catch her daddy and told her to not drink again and got rid off all the alcohol . Hug daddy .

  • Please message daddy prescious. Im concernd for you angel girl. Love you so much sweetheart...

  • Well my little girl. First off all yes daddy is here anytime you want too message me about anything prescious. I know what its like too be lonley my love. Wish daddy could hold you now princess and why would your doctor not give you tablets too help you sweetheart. My heart is breaking for you sweetie too hare your feeling down. Your amazeing and im allways going too be here too talk with you baby. I love you and its ok princess. Because it helps too talk and share our troubles princess and im allways here darling. Love your daddy and please message me prescious...

  • Hi daddy . She said i don't need to get tablets for this period i am sad . She said to wait a little . To be honest i am confused if i have or not have depression . Thank you daddy for your kind words .

  • Hi my angel. Daddys realy concernd for you. Will you please message your daddy prescious. I love you very much sweetheart...

  • Well my prescious I beleave you will know yourself angel and maybe wait just a little longer as she said. But im here allways for you princess as said. I see the other post is gone with our baby girl. If you like you can message her here sweetheart till you can set something up for her and not even sure if she will find it here. I will look for anymore posts you set up sweetie and see if she finds you. I just know shes going too be so upset when she cant find you angel. Please message daddy back and daddy loves you so much...

  • Hi daddy , i will make a new confession for this little girl . I will wait daddy . I asked them , i mean the tablets , so i can to stand alone with myself . It's not bad to be alone sometimes it's good . But when someone hates himself it's a h*** for him to be alone . I don't have much difference than this little girl daddy . Althought i am 23 and i seem mature here , i am childish and i have obsession and i am dependent with others like her and i want to have attention too and i am so afraid to tell my opinion to others . For a long time since when i was 12 i had a friend and i was dependent to him and i couldn't be with others without him be with me and i was I expecting to fill my emptiness that i had from my parents and others who mocked me . Many children told him to not have company with me because as they were saying i was mentally retarded . And when i did mistakes like drinking too much our company blamed him for letting me drink . They didn't say anything to me because to them (and for myself to be honest) i was unfocused person who can't take choices by itself and with no personality .
    And i didn't try to be independent to be honest. And this was happening for a long time . I still have this friend but we are coldly each other . With him and with a girl i had a fight when i was drunk on Saturday . And this makes it even worse for me to be alone . Because for a long time i had not feel like i did something for myself and be proud of . Others did things for me . My parents and friends . I know this situation it is beneficial for me but then again i feel like i have no personality and no value .

  • Hi prescious and its true what you said also about being ok too stand on your own prescious sometimes. But its ok also baby too have people in our lifes. Im here for you baby and love you. You will never be alone as long as daddys here. Your daddys little girl and i love you so much. I dont want you too be so h****** yourself sweetheart. But i do know how you feel at times princess. I send you huggs and kisses from daddy....

  • My prescious, prescious little girl. You can be daddys little girl anytime. Speak too me about your dreams and desires princess and you can go back into the place anytime you like when you were just a little girl. Even now my love daddy sees you as his sweet prescious baby girl and you can speak too me like you are princess. Be paitent angel and apolagise too your friend again sweetheart. Give her time too calm down my baby and im rite here for you too talk anytime. You have no idea baby how much daddy wants too hold you now and wrap his arms around you and bring you too bed and just hold you gentley till you fall assleep in daddys arms. You are never alone baby when daddys here and thats a promise. I realy know what its like baby too feel alone. But theres allways hope my baby doll and i will be here for you too talk about any fears or anything you want too tell daddy about. I love you my prescious baby girl. Message daddy back and daddy loves you baby and is proud off you. You can do what ever you like my darling. Love and hugg from daddy....

  • Ηi daddy . When you were alone daddy ? Are you alone now ? Thank you daddy for your words i will open up to you and you can open up to me whenever you want . We decide we have distance for some time . I don't know how long . I will watch now the series comedy daddy . See you . And i will have patience .

  • Ok my baby. Just try relax and enjoy the comedy. Your friend will come around sweetheart. Im alone here prescious 90pcent off the time baby. Im here for you alkways little one. I will let you watch your comedy my love. Messagage daddy when its over and remember im allways here baby and daddy loves you so much and your amazeing and loved and cared for. Love your daddy....

  • I will sleep now daddy . I didn't answer before because i was watching . Really are alone everyday that much daddy ? Hug daddy .

  • Hi daddy .

  • You need a long talk with Dr. Phil

  • Who's Dr . Phil ?

  • A fat guy on TV who thinks he has all the answers to everyone's problems. Thinks he's better than everyone and woman eat that s*** up.

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