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In my own world
People would say i am on my own world or that i am stupid . I get used to it so much that i can't feel anything . The only thing i like to do is to sit with closed eyes and doing nothing . I like to see my interior self . I like to live in my mind and thinking i fly up to the sky . I like to hear angelic voices and thinking that i fly to the sky . People from here told me to die because they misunderstand me for ** but i didn't feel nothing . Don't worry i want to die anyway but not for the reason you want me to die . Maybe if i was just disappear while sleeping and disappear from the world and people's memory who know me like i had never born . I feel like i am nothing and can't do anything about it than just accept it but i don't know if i ever accept tha fact that i feel i am nothing and other people seem to me like they are something . Tell me egoistic and jealous someone told this to me , i know i am but i don't feel nothing for this either. I kinda understand why some people end up doing drugs or alcohol. They want to get away from the world and from themselves too .
With your friend are you okay sweetie ?
But need it mommy and you realy hide it mommy and need it mommy and what if i just took it mommy and put water in it mommy like do on mom and she wont no mommy. Leader gave out too girl also mommy but then they all said i start it mommy and i sware mommy they would not pick me for games and ware tease me again mommy and i never started it mommy and promise mommy. Im sorry mommy and love you mommy and dream you hold me lots times mommy and my best friend is not fight with me mommy and shes grounded also and they took her phone and she said her mommy smacked her mommy. Lovr you mommy and im your baby girl mommy xxxxxx
Hi sweetie . Your friend's parents seems strict too sweetie . Hug sweetie . I believe you sweetie . Yes sweetie i would hide the alcohol because it's bad for your health . I would find something else for you to feel better something harmeless . Like writing down your feelings in a paper or listening happy music if you were angry i would give you a room for screaming all you want . These are harmeless . And trust me you don't really need it . Something that you really need is be loved from your mother , your true mother . She is a ** but it's not fault sweetie and don't say you are bad person because you are a darling and you don't deserve to hurt yourself with alcohol . And if you can't be happy or calm with nothing then you need help and a support sweetie . I think it will be good if you go to a psychologist . A woman psychology if you want . There are people sweetie who whould love you and take care of you, Believe me you don't deserve this behaviour from your mother even if you were naughty . Even if you had bad choices . Hug sweetie . It's sad sweetie if you can't be happy with anything . I know what is like . Hugs angel sweetie .
Im sorry mommy and im realy tired mommy and mom woke me up even earlier mom and sorry i keep fall sleep on you mommy. She said its go be long day for me mommy and i said im sorry mommy and please and crying mommy. But mom kept saying im bold and keep doing bad bold things and make wrong choices and just said she give me something too cry about mommy and she bath me mommy like im only when was like realy small mommy and washed every ware mommy and just smack my legs and ** in bath mommy. I hate her mommy and put sponge in me down there mommy and inside my ** mommy and only dried my hair mommy and had go down stairs mommy and not even ** mommy and mom spank my ** and back off legs mommy and was holding my legs in air mommy. Its not fair mommy and hat eat breaky mommy and was sting mommy. Then mommy said whole hour in kitchen again on stoole and start too think serious and stuff about my choices and actions mommy. I hate them mommy and want shoot them like you said with gun mommy and now im meant too studie again mommy and she said at lunch im go be get another smacked bottom mommy. I dont care mommy and shes go in neighbours again for tea and talk and im go have drink then mommy and you cant take it all mommy you just cant do that mommy and i can find it mommy if you do mommy and no one will stop me mommy cause i realy will be mad mommy and wont mean it mommy cause love you mommy but you just cant mommy please cause i need it ok and mean it mommy so there ok. Your realy my new real mommy and miss you and you realy love me mommy and even though im bold mommy and mess up all time. Your baby girl mommy and huggs you mommy xxxxxx
Sweetie try to understand that alcohol DOES NOT give you happiness . You think you feel good but in reality you are just dizzy . It's like drugs when you first take them you feel great and then you end up having depression . You already have depression . I can understand it . And not only in theory . I feel depressed and empty and hating myself most of the time everyday . But alcohol makes you worse and ruins your health . I know you don't care about yourself but you are a soul in the world and you matter . I am not saying these words so you think i am a good person . This is the truth . And because of your ** mother and stupid pastor and ** in youth group you fail to see the truth . And the truth is you have value and you don't make bad choices . What are the bad choices you have done anyway ? For defending yourself over the ** in youth group ? For not wanting to get smacked so you react ? You are only 13 for god sake what bad choices you could possible done ? You are still a kid .
You stay in your house and your school all day . You have life in front of you. Your mother the only thing she wants you to do is to be kind hypocritically and don't express your feelings . Tell me these are good choices to you ? Absolutely not . And it's sad that your hypocrite mother convinces you so much to not do anything ''bad'' or that you are a bad person but you are not . And the fact that she wants you to have manners that's ** . In that way she treats you she makes worse with more anger not a good person . And remember you are not bad person . Hugs angel sweetie .
Im sorry mommy and mom just came in and smack my legs and ** mommy and said im never learn and go sleep now and im in big trouble mommy tomorrow mommy and please you would realy hide drink mommy but it makes me feel nice mommy and what you do if took it mommy and its not fair mommy and its sore mommy and i did not even do anything mommy and love your baby girl xxxxxx
Im sorry mommy and mean it mommy and you not like me now mommy and were are you mommy. Its not fair mommy and no one likes me mommy and hate me mommy. Why people be mean mommy and its not fair mommy. I keep get in trouble and better if go my daddy for stop me be bold mommy and make me better mommy and be happy then. I love you mommy and its stings mommy and love your baby girl if you love me still mommy or even if you dont want me mommy. Love your baby girl and sorry mommy and my eyes keep get tired mommy. Sorry mommy and love lots and lots mommy xxxxx