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In my own world
People would say i am on my own world or that i am stupid . I get used to it so much that i can't feel anything . The only thing i like to do is to sit with closed eyes and doing nothing . I like to see my interior self . I like to live in my mind and thinking i fly up to the sky . I like to hear angelic voices and thinking that i fly to the sky . People from here told me to die because they misunderstand me for ** but i didn't feel nothing . Don't worry i want to die anyway but not for the reason you want me to die . Maybe if i was just disappear while sleeping and disappear from the world and people's memory who know me like i had never born . I feel like i am nothing and can't do anything about it than just accept it but i don't know if i ever accept tha fact that i feel i am nothing and other people seem to me like they are something . Tell me egoistic and jealous someone told this to me , i know i am but i don't feel nothing for this either. I kinda understand why some people end up doing drugs or alcohol. They want to get away from the world and from themselves too .
At least stop the one of the two things . Stop alcohol or tablets . I prefer both but whatever . They both ruin your health . Can i ask you something ? Did you tell me that you want to have body hair and bigger ** ? How would you have them if you drink and take tables ? Both of them slow down your development and i am serious . You are only 13 you are still develope . Your body needs healthy stuff to develope well . I hope you not smoking too , if you do stop it immediately. And tables are drugs . But legally drugs . But this doesn't mean that are good for your health . Please sweetie take care of yourself more . I wish i was your real mother . We wouldn't have a single bottle of alcohol in our house , i would lock all of them and i would hide the tables too . You are depressed and alcohol and tables are not a solution . They make you feel worse and i know it cause i have been many times drunk in my life . A girl i know she was depressed and she drunk alcohol and smoke week and took cocain and now she is even worse . Your mother ruins her health too with the tables . I don't think she drinks alcohol because of her religion but maybe she drinks too . Be sure that your mother is depressed the same way as you and you are both angry from this depression and your mother has a lot of traumas inside her . The same with you and alcohol make these traumas worse . Hug sweetie .
Im sorry mommy and dont be mad at me mommy. But i took bottle up my room when mom was outside for few minutes mommy and im sorry mommy but i have too mommy and mom said pastor and wife are come over at 6 mommy and have go for shower now mommy and i hate them mommy and its not fair mommy and were are you mommy cause want hugg mommy and need you now mommy and sorry mommy and dont be mad mommy cause makes me feel nice mommy and your my real mommy and im your baby girl mommy and love you xxxxxx
I am not mad sweetie you just you have to care yourself .
I want my daddy mommy xxxxxx
Sorry mommy xxxxxx
Were you mommy im sorry mommy and need you and want hugg mommy. Im your baby girl mommy and its not fair and are you go out mommy with your friend mommy huggs you mommy xxxxxx
Were you mommy and need you mommy. Im your baby girl mommy xxxxxx
Please mommy and im sorry mommy and had shower mommy and not fair mommy and mom came up and told me too just ware my nightie mommy and come down and its not fair mommy and were you mommy and need you mommy please. I want hugg mommy and hate them all mommy. Your my real mommy anyway and im realy your baby girl mommy and love you mommy xxxxxx
Were you mommy and im in bed and its not fair mommy and pastor took off my nightie mommy and smacked me again mommy and he had cream mommy. I want you now mommy and hate them so much mommy and its not fair mommy and he was give out and smack me mommy realy hard and with hand and spoon mommy. Its too sore mommy and realy red mommy please i want you mommy and took bit off drink mommy and pastor said he be up too tuck me in later and say night like he does with his kids mommy. Its not fair mommy they gave out too me for ages mommy and said im brat and that need too start behaveing mommy. Im go drink more mommy when there gone mommy and i texted my uncle mommy and my best friend mommy. I wish you were here mommy and my daddy was here too and hugg me mommy. Your my real mommy and im your baby girl mommy and please mommy im sorry xxxxxx