Caught my wife pooping..so i divorced her .

She said she's off to pee while were watching a movie, now she's been gone 5 minutes and i knew something was up, i knocked on the door and asked if everything is ok, she said yes she'll be right out...her voice was labored and i became suspicious...so i yelled "I"M COMING IN!' she screamed no but there was no stopping this, i smashed through the door and i see her sitting on the toilet seat, i told her to get the f** up, she didnt so i threw her off, i looked inside the toilet...just as i suspected, a goddam log, b**** u better pray this isnt yours. i looked around and saw no pet in site, I KNOW THIS IS UR P*** U W****, she screamed at me that im crazy and that shes calling the cops, all the while toilet paper in her hands. i told her no need to call the cops, im divorcing u u some kinda p*** w****. and that was that. I feel like a new man and off to find a wife who doesnt p***

Jan 17, 2018

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84 Comments

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  • Retarded

  • Smart move, was probably a tranny.

    Girl's don't p***!!

  • I'd dump her too... She must have been ugly because pretty girls p*** just once a year.

  • Aw man, OP has been banging a guy

  • Cool story (srs) You should extend it and eventually make short film

  • Girls don't p*** it was a trap bro

  • Retarded m***

  • Funny OP, and yeah pretty much dis, enjoy the days of s*** modesty until she accidentially lets one rip in front of you. Once it is out in the open and she thinks you can giggle about it pandoras s*** box is open and it can never be shut.

  • Caught one girlfriend pooping on my kitchen floor in the middle of the night, caught another pooping in my driveway. It's actually pretty common. thats what happens if youre no good at training them, you should probably just look into getting a professional to handle them in the future.

  • Your girl friend s**** bro....Thats gross. Mine doesn't and if she did i would honestly break up with her. Girls aren't supposed to s*** it just disappears out of their tummies everyone knows this.

  • Lol

  • ................ next time you p*** i hope somebody beats you down......

  • YOU guys are such idiots as i can't believe many posters took the OP seriously. Of course he's trolling\joking you morons, just WOW !!!! look at comments and how angry are you @posters !!!! Take it with a humor, it meant to be funny.

    FYI. i am not OP and it's my first comments on this post .

  • Yes, break up with her. You are not mature enough to have a girlfriend\wife.

  • You'd be doing her a favour if you did, no girl wants a troll.

  • If you do then you'd be a right j***. She's right, all girls p***. So do all guys, its natural. So you accidentally walked in on her? It is embarrassing, yes, but no reason to dump her. You'd have to be a really shallow and uncaring boyfriend to dump her for doing nature's business.

  • Trolls gonna troll. case closed.

  • Have you caught her breathing yet? Look, it's awkward sure, but what h*** are you gonna break up with some one for something like that that for, I'm sure your **** isn't smelling like flowers,

  • You're such a liar. Girls don't p***

  • OMG Girls do not p***!

    This is extremely abnormal, break up with her. Call the psych ward and take her in!

  • WHAT! this is a clear indication that your relationship will be a mess. I would never allow my gf to p***. You should dump her because of it. She is so weird!

  • Dude, you act like she dumped on your bed! Chill out and learn to knock!

  • Stop being an idiot, everyone poops and sometimes it stinks. Just because you have some romantic delusion about girls is no reason to think less of her. Think of some of the rotters you dropped into the toilet and understand she is human like you. Did you think she smelled like perfume and flowers all the time.?

  • Silly man, women don't p***!

  • I walked in on my girlfriend the other day and it smelled so bad in the bathroom. I ran out and shut the door but could still hear loud noises coming from inside. She said all girls p***, do I break up with her?

  • Ok XD im literally ROFLing!!! haha...seriously..iv been laughin at this for like five minutes....I CANT STOPPP!!

  • Its blatantly obvious, your wife is a man, because everyone knows women DO NOT p***

  • WTF

  • Sounds like you've got yourself a real pickle there.
    I blame feminism for giving women this stupid notion that they're allowed to p***. Everyone knows that's the man's job.

    Here' my professional opinion: Try hitting her a few times while cursing loudly. If that doesn't work, threaten her favorite pet or child. Finally, if neither of those options get the job done, take her to your local doctor or veterinarian- A few simple stitches will close that hole for good!

    Afterwords, have her cook you a steak to celebrate. If she's really good, you can even let her rub your feet!

    And remember, if she gives you any sass, don't be afraid to let the back of your hand remind her who's got the pants in this relationship!

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