Life’s not perfect

I have been married to my husband for 13 Years sheen together since high school we have 5 kids and one on the way. I used to think I had it all perfect husband perfect family and all I could ever ask for. I’ve been a housewife since our first child who’s now 8, I got pregnant really young. Me and my husband struggled for 3 Years to get stuff ordinary like anybody else a steady job, apartment,house etc. I was with him when he had nothing but I never cared for money until it came. My husband is a civil engineer has been for 8 Years when we started off we had nothing. By my first child we lived with my in laws for 2 Years. Then we got a tiny mobile home by the time I was pregnant with my second child. My family isn’t the wealthiest but in heart we are. After my second child we lived in an apartment then rented a home by the time I had 4 kids we bought our first house in the suburbs,first few cars etc. my husband was bringing home 2300-3500 a week plus a company truck being paid for as per diem daily and gas cards. Constantly out of town while I tended to the house and kids.i always told myself I’d remain humble but as time went by I’d spent tremendous amp of money in nails,clothes,shoes, for my children and I. My husband took care of all the utilities to be paid for from his own job. I found myself constantly asking him for money 5 kids running around all within the same age drove me crazy. I’d do anything to get out of the house. Go to the club. Sneak out. Have s**. Smoke. Party. The more money my husband brought home the less we talked and the more he dissapeared to work out of town. Our marriage was falling apart. Every time he came home from a job it’s like we’d have s** I’d get pregnant and he would leave again. He’s been a great father to my kids. Amazing husband. Constantly being able to communicate and help in anything we need. A few weeks ago he lost his job. We had a ton of savings but realized they would all be spent in our 5 kids and the one I have due in February for school clothes supplies food etc. we came to a conclusion to sell our 300k home to a bank. Lost our home. Our cars. Our marriage is falling apart. He has a strong temperament for dealing with his issues at work and our kids. We are back to root zero using borrowed cars. Living with my in laws. People who I thought were our friends aren’t here to at least pray for us. I feel as if my husband will any day say he wants a divorce I cry every night. I’m stressed out I feel his pain and frustration enough. We spent all of our money and saving in necessities sold all our furniture appliances old close etc. I feel I’m to blame for sneaking around his back while he was at work. Now that i will have my 6th child in February I’m the one to blame for our problems. It’s like we’re young all over again and starting from scratch. I sometimes think about giving birth and committing suicide after my last child is born. It’s too much too handle. I understand my husband worked for so many years and now he’s stressed out I sink in with him . Depression is hindering our family and marriage apart. I can’t handle this anymore,...

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  • I promise you there is a light at the end of this tunnel . Things don’t happen by accident. Maybe you and your husband can rekindle what you once had. Start over in every capacity .

  • Someone needs to learn about birth control

  • Life is certainly ups and downs, we human beings are like little bags of chips, chips are the no of days in our life, as each day passes one chip is eaten and finally it's just the bag that's left, the bag is our body, no matter how good a bag of chips feels or looks, when the chips are over the bag is thrashed.

    Your life has seen many ups, now you are seeing a few downs, every down is in fact life pushing you to search for what you are worthy for, sometimes we forget to grow, and maybe your husband is now more able to do more and is able to earn a higher income, but he did not choose to leave his job, so life has pushed him into the open to search for something better.

    Even this will pass away, don't throw away the bag of chips while there is chips in it, life is precious, experiences are just a part of life, nobody was promised happiness in life, happiness maybe there, maybe not.

  • Kind beautiful words thank you !!!

  • Oh how the mighty fall

  • Be grateful your kids are healthy. Money doesn't mean much.

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