I am 25 and i have only been in 2 relationships my entire life! my first boyfriend in high school which i dated for 3 years on and off and he was my first love and first really intimate relationship (not s** just first kiss but it was a really great emotional connection), and my now husband of 4 years who i have been with for 8 years, who i gave my virginity to and now have a 2 year old daughter with. my problem is i am still in love with my first boyfriend. i have always loved him and i guess i always will but it goes a little farther than that. i fantasize about him while i m********* and while having s** with my husband. i also have wet dreams about him! i talk in my sleep so i am afraid to go to sleep before my husband does because of that. i have been so deep in my own fantasy i have almost screamed his name while having s** with my husband! which would have probably gotten me a divorce because i am still friends with my ex because he just so happens to be my best friend's brother, and he is now bisexual. (and did i mention my husband hates him) but i have the most amazing o****** while fantasizing about my ex! that's not to say i don't have amazing s** with my husband because believe me it is so amazing! i just get a little more aroused when i think about my ex. which doesn't happen all the time just every now and again. i have never told anyone about this but now that i talk about it it makes me feel a little better just getting it out there! this is a serious subject for me and any advice on how to stop this behavior would be appreciated because i have tried everything i can think of and i am afraid if the opportunity would arise to have s** with my ex i couldn't say no to him and i don't want to do that to my husband i really love him so much and we have a wonderful life together with our beautiful daughter.

Jun 19, 2012

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  • thank you very much for your comment! it has helped me realize what i knew all along and what i was doing to myself and my family! i am focusing all my energy on my wonderful husband and beautiful daughter and making them happy because that is when i am the happiest! thank you so much for the advice!

  • wow... thats harsh. I have a beatiful wife and an amazing daughter. I fantasize about other girls, I think that is normal. I would never cheat on my wife though - because I feel that she means more to me than just s**.

    You want your ex because you have never had him, this is the only reason - it would be a mistake though, because after you had him you would feel better... for a while, but then like a seed, the guilt would grow, like a vine that would eventually strangle you and kill any love you might share for your husband.

    You dont love your ex. You love the idea of your ex, and while you are look at him, you are missing something special with the people that really do love you.

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