I'm Probably Messed Up

This is an example of a situation that happened yesterday. I was standing at the top of 5 stories of stairs with a friend. The railings were just metal posts, so you could sit down and slip through it and fall 5 stories. My first thought was: If I pushed So-And-So, they could die. I have the powder to kill them right now. All it would take is one push and they'd fall.
This is another one from around Christmas last year. I was holding a candy cane that I had sucked on in such a way that it was really sharp. I thought: Is this sharp enough to kill someone? Could this actually draw blood?

I've never actually killed anyone and I'm not going to try, but is this normal to constantly be thinking like this?

Mar 5, 2018

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  • It's an extreme case of 'what if...' As far as I know, it's normal....?

  • I think everyone has had thoughts like that at one point or another. I personally think it happens when we feel out of control in some way. If you think there is something wrong with it, maybe you should seek help from a professional.

  • You are fine. You're just being imaginative. (:

  • You’ll be ok Karl. Find a hobby, go hiking, work out, paint :)

  • Don't worry everyone is today. i found once i turned 23 no one wanted to know me and again when I turned about 35 people just stopped asking me out and inviting me places and had no friends. friends and jobs and social connections are very short lived now. they will make all the excuses that "oh its because we need to help so many people" its all bullshit. you only welcome for 6months or so and then its "get out" a bit like the cruise ships, they attack you going in, they attack you doing the lifesaving drill and then they pretend to be friendly until the last night and sing songs like "this used to be a fun house" which it never was and then they love to kick you out and throw you off at the end of the cruise quickly to get the new customers on and so it goes. that is life a conveyor belt like the simpsons.

  • Dark thoughts are part of human nature. Acting on them is sociopathic to a degree. Planning and going through with it for personal rewards attached to the act is the realms of the psychopathic.

  • ....you probably aren't any more messed up than anybody else.......

  • What kind of powder..?

  • I think that was supposed to be "power".........LOL

  • No, it's not. You should -- just for your own peace of mind, if not more -- go talk with a professional counsellor or therapist and find out what is prompting these urges. As they say, "the thought is the father to the act". Don't allow this to go any further than it has. Everyone has the occasional weird thought, and maybe that's what this is, but you implied a frequency of occurrence that makes this worrisome. Please get the input of a professional. Best wishes.

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