I hate my 17 year old stepson

I’ve never really liked him to begin with, he would throw massive fits when I met him (age7). I mean throw himself on the ground and scream- no matter where we were... stores when he wanted something, or just when he wanted to ride on his dad’s tractor. He stole his mother’s keys and tried to take her car for a ride- she was a horrible alcoholic who never paid attention to him or believed in discipline in any form.
He argued with me every chance he got- including how it was normal for people to sleep in their front yard- Macdonalds every night is healthy, and that his mom doesn’t make him use the toilet.
I was told by him and his mother that I “wasn’t allowed” to love him.
I was told by my husband and his family that I was too h****** him because I didn’t think a 7 year old should be s******* themselves when they didn’t feel like pausing a video game or getting out of the pool. I was told I couldn’t take away rates R movies from him when he acted them out on his sister- (whipping his 2 year old sister in the face after watching Ghost rider and terminator)
I spent all week cleaning his room once- 6 hours a day for 4 days- he completely destroyed it and I told him he had to clean it up a little and eat breakfast before going to his grandparents who lived next door. He stole his dad’s keys and ran out the door. He called me a b**** under his breath and no one didn’t believe me.
He slapped me in the face when he was 12. After his mother died he would try to use emotional blackmail on me when he wanted something in the store “well my MOM would get it for me”
At this point I had whitnessed him physically assault my 2 year old daughter (smother her with stuffed animals when she was a baby and touching her outside her underpants when she was older) and I don’t think I could ever love him after that. It took me everything I had not to kill him that day. I didn’t tell my husband because he and his family have the kind of attitude that would make me murder them- and if I divorced him, I know they wouldn’t keep an eye on that or take him to therapy or prison... so I was f****** stuck- I stayed to protect my kid and nothing but resentment has built since then.

He was 16 last year when I said I give up- I’m just not disciplining him anymore- and last year he got in the first fist fight in school since him Mom died- while his mom was alive it was a regular call from the school about him assaulting other kids- after I decided to stop grounding and disciplining him- his mouth got worst and the police were involved because of the fist fight. He had no job and we were expected to pay a $300 fine just weeks before Christmas. I had planned to get new floors for my living room with the job I had gotten and pay for Christmas for my kids with my husband’s income (which was significantly more than mine). I told my husband he needed to pay the fine and that if he paid it for him it was a deal breaker for the marriage because I had had it with him. My husband paid the fine and I didn’t speak to him for 3 months or sleep in the same room as him. His son was kicked out of school and I had to take off work so he wouldn’t go through my room (oh yeah- I caught him going through my room because he liked to j*** off in my closet with my clothes- my husband and his family thought it was funny- like I said they’re f***** up- they couldn’t understand why I would feel unsafe or violated)
So I’m home with a kid who talks about raping women, shooting up his school and gets in trouble with the law. He came home last night swearing at us because we didn’t let him in the house (he has his own key) he gave us bad information about when he would be home, he was swearing at us for not answering our phones, swearing at us because WE didn’t tell HIM where we were going or when we’d be home.
Today the trash was missing because he didn’t clean it out last night like I asked- he just left it in the garage.
The sink was full of dishes (we have chores for all the kids once a week that need to be done by 12pm Saturday). Everyone’s chores should take 30 minutes to a half hour.- he claimed to have been working on them for 5 hours and yet not a single thing was done. Long story short- he’s 17, and it turned into a screaming match and I think my shoulder is dislocated again...
He left for work around 4 and the sink is still full of dishes...
I hate him and I want out of the marriage so I will NEVER have to see him again


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  • It wasn't the kid's fault he ended up like this, he had an alcoholic mother and was neglected. It would take intensive therapy to fix this. You are not, nor ever really were the right person to do that, but mistakenly took on that responsibility through marrying his father. I wonder why his birth mother was an alcoholic, but from your description of your husband and his family, perhaps they were also responsible for her turning to drink too.

    You didn't need to take time off work, to stop you stepson going through your stuff. You could have just fitted a lock to your bedroom door.

    Leave now, move far away and get a restraining order.

  • I love it when people who shouldn't breed... do. That's why the world is the way it is. Too bad she didn't swallow, now we all have to wait until this dumb kid either ODs or gets himself shot. He'll probably reproduce before that happens, too. That's why the world is the way it is.

  • I hate him too. Yeah the punk

  • Hide a camera some place in an area where you frequently fight and press record. When you have all the dirt you need, grab your daughter and get out of there. Get a good lawyer and make sure that your husband can never get custody of her because of the violent nature of their home. The camera footage is all of the evidence you'll need to protect your daughter.

  • My wife is step mother and helped raise our 3 boys from tots to adulthood. Never once did they disrespect her. I would have booted them off planet earth and they flat knew that. If they did something that they needed corrected for she would say to them you will have to tell your dad what you did. Then I handled it. They love and respect her because I show love and high respect by example for her. This is your husbands fault and it's his responsibility to disapline the kid. It's not your job.

  • Husband's fault - amen

  • I don't think you have realized that this young man is in love you! Have you?

  • Kill him...

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