Someone's Been Eating My Sandwiches
And it ain't f****** Goldie Locks. I work at a machine shop and I work nights. So I make a big zip lock bag of sandwiches to eat over several days and keep them in our lunchroom fridge. This past week I went to market and got expensive honey ham, and New York style deli cheese with a wonderful spicy deli mustard. On my favorite fresh baked bread I get special. They are so yummy and look forward to eating while I'm working nights. I made a total of twelve sandwiches should easily last the week. I had one Monday night and two of them Tuesday night. Well I go in Wednesday night go to the fridge and there is an empty bag in the fridge. I mean what a****** eats other peoples food anyway then leaves the empty bag. Inside the bag was a note that said I enjoyed your sandwiches please make some more. I was like a bull seeing red. Boy was I hot. So I talked to a few of the guys and one of them told me he had seen one of the supervisors on day shift eating one of my sandwiches. I had to think of something to do to teach this a****** a lesson.
So I figured I would buy some turkey and cheese and the yummy bread again. Then I put on a pair of latex gloves went outside and picked up a few dog turds our dog did earlier that day. I went outside to the patio and I started putting together sandwiches. First I took the dog turds and wiped one side of each piece of bread with the s***. Then a squirt of mayo over the s***. I spread it with a plastic knife and tossed the knife when finished. Then I put on the turkey with a slice of cheese followed by a piece of lettuce and finished assembling the sandwiches and placing them nice and neatly in the zip lock bag. Twelve just like before. Then I put a note in the bag that read. Please don't eat my sandwiches. I also made myself one sandwich each night making them up fresh and taking with me. I placed the bagging of twelve sandwiches into the fridge of our employee lunch room. As I would go to get my lunch each evening I noticed how the bag of twelve sandwiches was disappearing very quickly from one night to the next. As I grabbed my single sandwich from the fridge I had a huge smile on my face. And I repeated to myself, " well my conscience is clear cause I warned you, you f****** p**** not to eat them". Funny thing is not sure what happened but I was told the lunchroom fridge bandit stopped eating everyone else's food. Gee I hope they didn't get sick or anything, LOL.