Too much wasted time...
It’s funny how the slightest things can trigger the strongest nostalgia. Like how, as I sat in class today, a smell reminded me of something. I’m not really sure what the smell was. But I had a few ideas.
Time has just flown by lately. It seems like just yesterday I was getting my schedule, ready to start high school. I was scared and nervous, but I went with my parents and my neighbor Cody to orientation, and things almost seemed to be looking up. Like I somehow didn’t have to worry. Like everything would be okay. Anyways, when I went, I remember being thrilled to see that in second semester, I’d have a class with him. And now that it’s second semester, it’s absolutely killing me.
The first day of the new semester seemed to drag on forever. I went to my sixth hour, knowing that Cody would be in there. Sure enough, he was. I sat and talked with my friend Katie, until the teacher told us to find our assigned seats. Obviously, we’d be in alphabetical order.
I had a good memory, so I remembered the order that the teacher had called attendance in. Or the few people around me, at least. But I didn’t want to say anything. As I stood there, acting clueless and saying “Who sits by me?”, I felt two taps on my arm. Instantly, I knew who it was.
“I’m probably by you,” he said.
I just nodded and said, “Yeah,” as I looked away, my face hot with embarrassment.
We found our seats after about a minute, and I sat next to him. As I sat there, memories flooded my head. Memories of being in kindergarten, seeing him for the first time in the hallway and not being able to take my eyes away. Being in elementary, and having him over on Sundays to play Super Nintendo in my room. Riding the bus in fifth grade while having dumb conversations with him, or being in my best friend’s basement, with them and him, dancing like idiots or playing Ghosts in the Graveyard.
Most of all, the most recent memories I thought of were ones from seventh grade. When we (coincidentally) had sixth hour Life Skills together. And I loved every second of it. I remember driving him to school one week, and thinking it was a miracle. I remember during those times I would wear this self tanner. Whenever I smelled it, I thought of those times. I also listened to a Liz Phair CD often, so whenever I hear that I think of it too.
Another thing was that the summer after seventh grade, when I missed him so much, I would go in my dad’s closet to smell his Hollister Cologne, because that’s what Cody wore. And it took me back. That was the end of an era for me. And those were the things I smelled the other day.
“Maybe it’s a sign,” I had thought, “but he has a girlfriend. Plus, I thought I’d gotten over him a long time ago. Then again, how many times have I thought this?”
Even though I had thought those things, I still couldn’t help but put on my friendliest, coolest personality and to think that maybe all of the years had meant something. Maybe he’d change his mind. I had never really seen him with his girlfriend too much anyway.
After class, the bell rang and I ran to my locker, and then rushed down the stairs, taking the long walk to my bus, at the other end of the school. As I hurried through the cold, I held my breath.
I finally made it to my bus. I walked up the stairs and glanced at the back of the bus, to see if he was on. Indeed he was, with his girlfriend Carina cuddled up next to him in the dull gray seat.