My revenge on a friend injured him.. and in a bad way for a male
A good friend and I ran marathons together off and on for about 15 years. Our wives got bored with it and stopped going with us. We would fly to the events, do the run, stay for a couple of nights seeing stuff, then fly home.
After the race we would always go out for dinner somewhere, hit a bar, etc. Well my friend is really a small guy, and has a 2 drink limit. More than that and he can turn into an obnoxious a****** and remembers nothing the next day.
For some reason on this trip he drank more than normal, got us thrown out of a bar, threw up on the sidewalk near their front door (and himself)... and I had to get his stupid ass back to the hotel. I finally found a cab that would take us (he had vomit all over him, and was rude) but we got back.
So.... I had to help him undress... s***... *I* undressed him... helped him into the shower... Held him up so he didn't fall over, rinsed him, and dried him and put shorts on him. It f****** sucked and I was really p***** over it.
So I get him into his bed and he passed out instantly. I am not a violent person, but I decided I was going to leave him a little reminder about last night since he would not remember it.... So I decided I would punch him in the testicles a few times to make him sore in the morning. I had no clue if that would even work...
Turns out it does. :)
I was watching TV in the room and I would go over and punch him a few times, then watch more TV. I think I only punched him like 10 or 12 times over an hour. But I knew it hurt since he would groan even passed out. I found it funny thinking he would be sore in the morning.
So... he gets up the next morning with the expected massive hangover and starts to get out of bed... and boom... drops to the floor like a rock.
He is suddenly clutching his groin and is obviously in horrible pain. He pulled his shorts down to check his junk... and his s****** was HUGE... I mean like 3 times a normal guys', and dark shades of green and blue all over.
The first thing I remember thinking was "S***... I castrated him"! I got online and checked for symptoms of a dead or ruptured t*******, torn nut cords, castration, etc. So he didn't have the symptoms for those but castration would have been less painful I think! I got a ton of ice, made ice packs and about an hour later he was able to limp to the bathroom.
I felt like s***... They didn't have a kid yet (I think you shouldn't mess with a dude's testicles if they want a kid, right?... I kinda didn't consider that!) and I had seriously injured a close friend's genitals. It was horrible. He finally asked what happened... I told him the bouncer at the club had kicked him. lol He asked if I thought we should call the police... F*** NO! When I explained how he really did act he dropped it.
The next day we get to the airport, and his walking was so bad they offered him a wheelchair (he declined). We made it home and the next day his wife drags him to the doctor, they both miss a day of work, and had medical bills over it. He ended up fine but in pain for about 8 days. I think his wife damned near killed him over this, and he never drank on our future trips. A few years after that, I paid for an entire trip as a gift. He thought that was way too generous. (Nope!)
I am a guy and I had NO idea how easy it is to really mess up a dude's b****. Many years from now I might tell him about this... but not today! :)
I have never told anyone about this, and now I am telling millions all at once! The Internet is just awesome! hahaha.
I feel better just typing this out! Nice therapy, and FREE!