My posh step mother

I'm 17 live at home with my step mother . She is 44 and a beautiful looking lady. She comes from a posh back ground and can come across stuck up she looks and dresses very sexy people always say . Since my father died I kind of do what I want and yes i have a massive crush on her . I buy drugs FROM the dark web THEY MAKE ME UNBELIEVABLY HORNEY I sit on my computer masturbating. Over my step mum sharing my thoughts . I've joined a hidden group of sadistic deviants which are mainly older intimidating men they m********* and I get really worked up and I couldn't help but let this very dominant man control me and let him into my world, I am very scared of him but Ive cowered to all of his demands.