I'm terrified of my 14 year old son and his friends
High school was the worst 4 years of my life. I was ridiculed and bullied so severely that I began to see myself as worthless. Wherever I was, my locker, the changing room before and after gym, the parking lot after class let out, the other boys never missed a chance to let me know that I existed beneath them. As a result I've developed a deep hatred, but also a deep fear, of teenage boys.
Even as a 36 year old man with a wife and son I'm terrified of them. Whenever I see a group of high school aged boys I desperately try to avoid them and if I can't I find myself hurrying by them with my head down. I know I'm pathetic, but i always have been pathetic in that way.
My big problem is that my son Jaden is 14 years old now and a Freshman in high school and is beginning to remind me of the boys I'm frightened of. He's become rebellious and arrogant and mean and I can't even be an authority figure to him because when I look at him now I'm starting to see my bullies. It's worse too because the boys he's hanging out with seem even more cocky and arrogant than he is. When he brings them over to the house I let them walk all over me because I cant stand up to them.
I can't turn to anyone I know because then they'll know how pathetic I am.