Creepy uncle

I have an uncle whos been pretty creepy to me since I grew up, I said something like “f*** me” out of frustration and he replied with something like “I have an active imagination” in a joking way, but still it was gross. Then at a party with my parents he came running up to me really fast with this big grin on his face to hug me. I hug all my family members but hed never done that before, at least not that excitedly. At the same party, when I was alone, he would sit next to me with this big grin again and I just didnt really know what to say. We usually never talk that much. Now my parents went to visit them recently and I didnt wanna join of course but I couldnt explain why (he has a wife, what if I misheard/misread things). My mom said he suggested they come over to our house pretty soon, which they usually dont suggest either. It makes me feel hurt, because he never expressed that much interest in me and now it seems hes creepily attracted to me, people never actually care about me they just care about my looks, they think I’m weird outside of that. Besides, that, it just turns my stomach. Before they get a chance to visit with me their I’m moving to my place. Ugh, what is wrong with men. What made him think he had a chance, and he’s known me as a kid, how are you not disgusted with yourself?

I just dont know what to do in the future. I can't keep avoiding him forever. Do I pretend it didn't happen?

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  • Ugh. what is wrong with you ? Are you so delicate that you can't look him in the eyes and tell him, " Back off Uncle Pervy ! " It's really just that simple. And, why on earth would you come in here and ask what to do , knowing that most of the men in here ARE your uncle ? No, I think you have a family disharmony campaign going on, and the best thing your family could do is seperate themselves from you.

  • I just needed to get it off my chest. And no, it's not so easy when its someone youve known for forever and they say something ambiguous in the middle of your entire family. So no, at the moment I couldn't get myself to say that but I will. Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with me.

  • Well then, what did "your entire family" do then? Just stand around like a herd of cows while one of their own was acting inappropriately? If that was what happened, your uncle is the least of your problems.

  • TELL SOMEONE

  • Like whom? Even in 2020, people who are supposed to be "authorities" too often look the other way. It's not as bad as before every six year old knew how to speed dial CPS on their own personal cell phone, but it still happens.

  • NO!! You need to tell him how he makes you feel and that its disgusting. Even when/ if he denies it, don't let him make you feel like your feelings are not valid, you tell him to stop, better yet just tell him to not look at you at all. Don't ignore it at all. you got this!

  • He is a kid who looks up to you for breast feed

  • Its natural for people to be attracted to other people including family but he is married and shouldn't be making you feel uncomfortable. So, tell him you not interested.

  • Is he bad looking? why not have some fun? could you tell me the reasoning for your rejection? Doesn't it turn you on knowing you have that much power over a man?

  • No it does not, he is family and has known me since I was a kid. It disgusts me. And how am I the one with the power when he is the one making those comments and making me uncomfortable, using his friendly face and closeness to me as access to my body? Yes I have power over men and I use it, but this is not how you use that power, it's how you let someone control you and I don't want that. If I do want to tap into that power I use it on men I CHOOSE and get something out of it for myself before I give him what he wants. And I would never be comfortable choosing him so no, that's not the case here.

  • Let him know clearly your boundaries!

  • Thank you, I should, but I'm really too scared to cause a stir/make assumptions, and have trouble clearly communicating my boundaries.

  • Then don't, first get a life. He is smiling at you, when he says something improper or touches you improper. Then you have a problem thats when to tell him to knock it off. If he still is persistent then when he starts coming to you use that phone and record him and play it back to his wife.

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