I deserve a spanking

I am just full of guilt. Everyday I am full of guilt. Everyday I remember things I don't want to remember. I recall familiar faces I hurt, certain events that I regret, and think of possible future scenarios where I see them again and get laid into by them.

I know what I have done, and I am struggling inside to free myself from this guilt. I can't move on from it; no matter how many times I say it's too late to do anything about it now.

I hurt them, I manipulated them, I broke trust, I caused tensions, I ruined friendships between others, I made some depressed, I did a lot of bad stuff but was smart enough to never cross the boundaries of illegal actions. All because I was in a bad place.

Back then, I loved it, today, it's eating me alive.

I know I need to be punished, and I know how much I deserve it. I deserve to be spanked. Maybe I deserve more than that, but I know a good spanking will help me be able to forgive myself for what I have done.

I have asked others for help, but they wouldn't do it.

So....I gotta ask something, and it's not for a meet-up. If you knew me, and I told you everything I did and asked for a spanking and whatever punishment you felt was necessary, what would you do?

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  • I was a young man aged 20 I was really struggling with the growing up thing my father had died when i was 16 and with him went any idea of discipline at home or elsewhere for that matter His strap stayed on the hook in the cupboard It came to a head when I was arrested by the police in relation to a bout of drunken vandalism I got fined and shamed in the village A neighbour called Mr Black called me over to see him He made some tea and we had a good chat he asked me what my father would have thought about my behaviour in the recent past I just said you know what he would have done and Mr B laughed a bit He then said 'well you clearly deserve a good hiding paul' I did not comment just blushed very red After a few seconds he asked me if the strap my dad used was still at home I said yes and he just told me to go and get it and that if I returned with it I would know what was to happen I went home and just sat and thought about it The following morning I had not slept well all night thinking about Mr B and what he was going to do if I went next door with the strap I could not eat breakfast and I knew what I had to do I got the strap without mum seeing me and went next door Mr B smiled when he saw it in my hand and just said come in paul go to the dining room drop your trousers and pants and stand hands on head in the corner It was ages later when he came in I was shaking with fear He told me to bend over the back of a dining chair and he gave me the worst hiding I had ever had I cried begged him to stop but he just carried on My behaviour changed and for the next 30 years I visited MrB whenever I needed to always taking the strap!!

  • Try a professional dominatrix. I go to one. Look in the adult services section of your classifids. I go to her condo. The spare bedroom is a dungeon. I undress in the walk in closet. Wait there nude she comes for me an leads me to a leather horse. She alternates between a leather paddle and a fiberglass cane.

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