17 and 21

So me and my boyfriend are respectively 17 and 21. We've been together for 4 months-ish, and we're very serious about moving in together when we're a bit older. Problem is, we both live very far away from each other and are long distance, and we're exs. He lives in Canada and I live in Europe and we're planning on meeting in 1-2 years, when he's put his life together.

When I was 14, we were also together, and he was 18. We got a lot of hate from people because of the age gap and he also made me feel uncomfortable at times due to how sexual he was. This has since calmed down a bit, but he still very much pushes me sexually and I sometimes feel pressured to ** with him.

He, on the other side makes me feel very comfortable sexually, so I'm very much stuck between two big factors in the relationship that are important to me.

The thing I fear might happen is that he one day will push me too much. He's already said things such as that he wants to take my virginity by just putting it in without any preparation and go all the way in which I heard is VERY PAINFUL. He asks me to turn on my camera while he masturbates (he does not) and to open my mouth, etc.

I'm just very new to this all and was wondering if this was normal. It also slightly concerns me that when I was 14 he did the same things without considering my age OR my consent.

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