I think there's something wrong with me

Idk if it's something like depression but I don't want to tell anyone that I'm actually really sad a lot of the time. I'll joke about it with my friends but I'm really scared I'm going to hurt myself again. I just had a little breakdown bc I think everyone's out to get me. I banged my head against my bed and cried and cried. It's not normal for someone my age to cry or self harm like this. Ofc I don't tell people this, that I want to hurt myself but I want to stop, I want someone to help me

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