Anyone have stories of family members fattening up?

My brother and his family moved to the USA 4 years ago. Since then the whole family ballooned. It's really sad. They used to be a really attractive family. My brother was always a handsome guy with athletic build and his wife was a very pretty slender woman. And you could tell the three kids inherited good genes, all of them adorable. I helped them move later we would visit them every summer for two weeks or so. By the first visit I could already tell things have been changing even if it had only been 3 months or so. It wasn't very noticable yet, but I could definitely tell that my brother was looking a bit filled out. And I was kind of suprised how much the kids were snacking. Fast food seemed to be a regular on the dinner table and they seemed to be going everywhere by car. But it wasn't anything too jarring so I didn't mention it. Things only got worse from then on however as when I next visited a year later I was shocked. Each of them gained a lot of weight. My brother must've put on around 20 or 25 kilos. And his wife around 20 too. I had never imagined I would ever see them so out of shape. Even the kids! The oldest girl was still holding up somewhat but the two younger boys really put on a lot of weight. Their face had filled out a lot and their tummies had grown a lot too and would bounce as they played by the pool. The middle kid was very much into sports when they still lived at home but that seemed to have gone right out the window. Then the mother would emerge from the house with ice cream or something and the eating continued. There seemed to be no stop to eating and they generally seemed to have less energy as everyone was just lazing around the house. No initiative to go for a walk or anything. I tried to prod my brother about the situation, but I just couldn't bring myself to really confront him.

Yeah massive weight gain is really common when moving to America. I have two friends and a cousin who moved there. All of them are obese now, none of them were even overweight before leaving. My female friend was an aerobic instructor actually, you wouldn't believe that looking at her now.

I don't understand. I've lived in America all my life, and I'm as skinny as a stick with no exercise, as are basically everyone I know. It's not like we starve ourselves either, we just eat normally. Why would there be weight gain for moving to America?

I've gained over 200 lbs in the 13 years since I moved here. I rarely ate out before moving here but it was a regular thing for everyone else and i got used to it. I gradually accepted larger and larger portions. Along with having two pregnancies I just ended up ballooning. Now I can barely fit in most restaurant booths because my belly is so big.i am buying an obesity belt to help hold it up for me so I can begin to exercise more. It's exhausting being this obese.

There was a gap year under covid, and by last summer things were shockingly worse. It saddens me. But I just have no way of really helping as I only see them for a short period of time each year.

I’m going thru something similar with my brother. He’s piled on the weight during quarantine and he wasn’t skinny to begin with. He has all new clothes which look sloppy and loose and usually he diets at the beginning of the year if he gained a lot but there hasn’t been a word about it this year. No dry January either and a lot of the weight he gained is through drinking. I have no idea how much he weighs but it’s getting almost obscene.

What is obscene about it? Why must he conform to your ideals?

His fat rolls are spilling out over his pants and he’s developed ** bigger than girl **. I don’t think he has any idea how rotund he’s gotten.

So, basically what you're saying is that being fat is obscene. Got it. I happen to think being judgemental about another person's body is obscene, but what do I know?

You know what? I didn’t think that’s what I was doing but you’re right. Thanks for calling it out. Seriously.

Thank you for getting it. I know you are just concerned about your brother. Good luck to both of you.

Im like the poster below. The wife and I are heading off to the in-laws for thanksgiving and I feel like half the menu is specifically chosen to make sure I’m stuffed silly all weekend. The whole family jokes that I have no self control which is humiliating. Then I prove them right and get another helping and that makes it worse.

My mother in law seems like she’s secretly a feeder. Every time we visit, her freezer is stocked with my favorite ice cream. She doesn’t even ask anymore after meals she just puts a huge bowl in front of me knowing I have no self control

Let your mom plump up like a balloon. It’s her body not yours.

It’s hard not to gain when you know someone finds it attractive. For me, knowing the fatter I get, the sexier my wife finds me, I’m predisposed to ordering that extra appetizer or chugging down those extra IPAs. If you have a partner who’s a big eater already, just let em know you like em big. You’ll have more doughy rolls to play with in no time.

I've been on the other side of the situation. I purposely gained over 100 pounds. I went from chubby to morbidly obese and it has been wonderful except for dealing with my family. It isn't easy dealing with the insecurities that come from getting fat. You feel your body changing, getting heavier and more and more out of shape. You see it change, getting bigger, developing rolls, cellulite, your belly starts hanging. It's a lot to come to grips with even if it is what you want. It's not accepted and you know people are judging you. I sweat more, I get out of breath, I waddle now, and I have moobs. Being this fat is embarrassing. Having family give me a hard time just makes it so much worse. I know they are just worried about my health and, honestly, I am too. I know what I'm doing is not healthy but it is what I want. If your mom is like me, she's not going to stop. You will have to get used to her being fat and getting fatter. It is her choice. Don't ruin your relationship with her over this.

OP here. Thanks for giving me your perspective from the other side of the coin, so to speak.

Hope you don't mind me asking, but how much do you weigh currently?

Are you still planning on gaining weight?

What sort of aspects of it do you enjoy?

Did you gain all on your own, or did you have (I think they're called?) a feeder?

It's tough seeing this situation, and I do understand worrying about your health. That's my biggest concern with my mom.

I don't mind at all. I currently weigh 325 and I do plan on gaining a lot more.

I love the look and feel of being fat. I love being big and soft and flabby. I love how heavy my body feels to move, even though it makes any physical activity more difficult. I love that I jiggle when I move. I like feeling out of shape. I love seeing and feeling the changes in my body as the pounds pile on. It really is very addicting. I don't know that I will ever be satisfied.

That is something you need to understand if your mom is really into this. It is not easy to stop. Like I said, I know this isn't good for me, but yet I still shovel thousands of calories into my face every day, hungry or not, because I need to see the number on my scale go up.

I don't have a feeder exactly, but I do have a supportive partner. They don't push me to eat, but they like me fat and getting fatter.

How is your mom doing? Is she still gaining? Do you know what she weighs now? Have you spoken to her about this?

How big are you now? Your partner still enjoying you getting fatter and fatter?

I made it over 350 but unintentionally lost a few. I'm working my way back up though. Being that big feels incredible, like I hit a new level of fatness and I want even more. My partner still seems to enjoy my gaining even though it has made certain acts a little more difficult, partly because she has also gained quite a bit recently, although not intentionally, and is easily over 400 now. I haven't told her yet but I think my next goal is to get fatter than her. I hope she's happy with that. I don't know how much more weight she is ok with me gaining, but I think she'll like being the small one in the relationship for a change.

I can relate to your love of being big and soft. How do you get over the embarrassment part? What kind of support does your partner give?

Sorry I just saw this. I don't know that I've ever gotten over the embarrassment part. I just deal with it. I want to gain more weight. I want to be extremely obese. I want it and that is more important than what other people think of me or my body. So I accept the looks and the comments and the jokes. I feel the embarrassment and the shame that comes from being taught my body is bad. It is fat and flabby and cumbersome to move. I love swimming and whenever I go to the pool there is always a moment just before I take off my shirt where it hits me. All these people are going to see what I've done to myself. They're going to see the belly hanging over my shorts, the almost female looking **, the fresh stretchmarks that prove I've been actively getting fatter. All that I have been secretly working for is on full display for everyone to see and judge and I feel all of it. I just want to be fatter more than I want to avoid that feeling. Also, it can be pretty hot to think about after the initial feeling passes. I actually love knowing that everyone can see what a fat greedy pig I am.

The most important way my partner supports me is by just accepting my desire to gain and the changes in my body as I've become obese. She doesn't judge me for it. She also teases me and plays with my fat and she keeps the house stocked with all the high calorie supplies I need to keep growing.

Okay, thank you again for answering my questions. I think I understand a little better now.

Yes, I have talked with her about this, and she said similar things; she enjoys her body changing, and how big, soft and heavy she is getting. She said that she loves eating whatever she wants and the feeling of an overfull belly especially.

She seems to be doing well despite all the weight gain, just gets tired or out of breath more frequently. Yes, she's still gaining and told me she wasn't going to stop any time soon. Shortly after the 4th of July, she weighed in at 343lbs.

It sounds like she's doing great with her gaining. I hope she is happy and I hope you are able to accept it and be happy for her or at least that it stops giving you stress. Good luck to both of you! Keep us updated.

How are you doing with your gain? How is your family reacting now?

The gaining is going well. I'm up another 20 pounds and I love it. I'm really feeling the last 10 though. My body feels so much slower and heavier than before and it's really making me not want to move which is good I guess because it means I burn less calories. I am noticing some back/leg pain from standing or walking, but all of it is so exciting to me. I can't wait to see what the next 20 pounds do to me. My family has mostly been suggesting I exercise or not take seconds or thirds. I've also heard some comments about my clothes looking tight which is true. I'm badly in need of some bigger clothes now.

Do you enjoy moving slower? Are you used to your family’s discouragement? I have a couple friends who’ll gently encourage me to stop eating so much, but it has the opposite effect! Sorry I can’t help you in the outgrown clothes department. I’m right behind you at 325!

I do enjoy moving slower. I enjoy all the new changes and struggles. I'm starting to feel ponderous now. My gut is so big it is throwing my balance off and changing how I waddle and move. It is hard to describe the feeling but it's almost like moving my body now feels like driving a new car I'm not familiar with. If you're built anything like me you will really start feeling the weight soon. I still felt kind of normal at 325. I felt fat but not like this. I feel huge now and I really think I've crossed a threshold to a new level of obesity. The discouragement from my family is nothing new. I tend to ignore it mostly, but it's also a form of negative reinforcement I guess. It let's me know that they see what a pig I've become and that validates my gorging. How do you feel at 325?

I feel the way you describe yourself now - driving a car you’re not familiar with. I’ll sit in a wide chair and still, each of my love handles is touching the end. I’ll open a refrigerator door and it’ll graze my moobs. I’ll slip on a pre-pandemic shirt only to discover how much I’ve blimped up. The worst (best?) part is, my wife can’t keep her hands off me. So I’ve lost all incentive to try and get under control again.

Once you get that obese with a wife that appreciates it, forget it. You're not turning back and why would anyone want to? Happy blimping my friend! I think we both have massive futures to look forward to.

Seriously. As soon as I realized I had her approval, it’s been nonstop stuffing. And she has been more aggressive on encouraging me as well. Last night after a huge dinner, she asked if I wanted some cookies. I patted my bulging sides and said I’m stuffed. So she reached into the cookie jar, grabbed the biggest cookie she could find and handed it to me.

How has it been going for you? Your wife still blimping you up? What's your weight?

I would not worry about it she might of been into this all along and just hid it if she’s happy let her be I have been though stuff like this before interfering will just strain your relationship

What was your experience?

Tbh it’s none of your business. If they’re happy let them be Feedism is normal

How is it normal if you end up turning someone into a blob!? I'm just really worried about my mom

I totally get you. It feels weird when you see a family member get really fat and it basically happens in front of your eyes.
Up until a few years ago my Dad was an avid runner and would play different sports with his pals too, like squash and such. But he was also into these sort of extreme sports. He would do all sorts of crazy things like skydiving and bungee-jumping. Not excessively, but there were definitly a couple times a year. But he was just generally into health too. It was kind of a family thing.
One time though he had a pretty nasty fall when he was out rock climbing. He was very lucky to not die then, and he still had to spend quite a while in hospital. But that experience really changed him and when he was allowed to leave he was a different person. I was already getting a strange vibe when he wanted to stop at a fast food place to celebrate already on the way home. He ordered a ton and then gorged himself to the point where you could clearly see the bloat he had going. He didn't even try to conceal the burp after he finished.
At that point of course we were all just very happy to have him back, and I thought that maybe the hopsital food was just that bad. But that first meal really stuck with me, cuz that was my introduction to my new Dad.
Basically he had this change in mentality that he wanted to take things easy and comfortable, spend more time at home, enjoy his food. And boy, that he did. What all this meant is that he became a lazy slob, who kept stuffing himself. It was very sad to watch my fit and full of energy Dad turn into an obese and unhealthy man, who has to struggle a bit to get off the couch and then breathes heavily from the exertion. In the span of 3 years he doubled his weight and is now around 350 pounds.

Does he still eat/act like this? It's been 2 years since my dad's accident. Went through a similar thing and he doesn't seem to want to change

Yes, unfortunately. And the inactivity during the pandemic really didn't help his weight. He seems too content with his new lifestyle to change.
What about your dad?

Has he gained much weight during the past couple years? Seems alot of people have really ballooned during pandemic

It the same. He went from an in shape guy about 170lb to 400+ plus. He eats all day long. Does nothing. I wouldn't be surprised if he was closer to 500.

I’m one of them. Wondering if I’ll get back into shape, but thinking more and more that circular IS my shape now.

How much do you weigh? And do you like it

About 2 weeks ago he said he was 400 something, so he put on around 60 pounds. Honestly, I am surprised it wasn't more, given how little physical activity he's been doing.