Self destructive

I live in a toxic home. I was raised with my grandmother as my mom and my step grandfather as my dad. My dad recently got cancer a few years ago and afterwards, a bunch of family tragedies happened. My "dad" is so cruel and mean. He yells constantly, gets offended over anything, threatens to be physical, gets physical, and flaunts his high military ranking, oh and he recently started selling his pills and buying drugs, even forcing My mom to sell her medication (medication she needs to take as part of recovery from being a drug addict.) My "mom" and i have been through verbal and physical abuse. She has gotten alot worse. she pushes me past my breaking point emotionally, she rarely or never gives me emotional support, she refuses to reach me things like how to make appointments, pay bills, and she refuses to help me get a job. She often provokes me on purpose. I feel emotional extremely that i can black out and get physical. I end up pushing over furniture or pouring out lotion. She refuses to ever listen to what i have to say and she just expects me to hangout with her. I am failing school because i have severe clinical depression (diagnosed) along with a string of more mental health issues. Its hard to focus and i am always constantly distracted in waking life or, i am too emotionally drained. I only just barely have my dog. My house is loud, falling apart. Not only physically calling apart, but the atmosphere. I am always in my room and i am so scared to leave it. I'm tired of being unheard of helped at. Even when I am in the right, i always enter a headspace of self loathing when I'm alone. I am starting to feel extremely suicidal. I want to stay alive for my boyfriend. He is the only one ever showing me genuine love. I am just now getting used to the concept that i deserve love. I don't know what to do. My life is falling apart. I'm only 16. If an angel is out there, please please please help me. I can't tell anyone. It hurts so bad. Family therapy didn't work. I'm so scared

Jan 16, 2021

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  • I am in a similar situation. I hope we can make it out soon. <3

  • May god bless you sweet girl!
    I have prayed for you 💛

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