Am i the only one?
This isn't really a confession. I just want to know if I'm truly as alone as I always feel. I'm homeschooled. Have been my whole life. Neither of my parents are very educated and my schooling is 110% my responsibility. I'm keeping afloat for the most part, but am crippled in math.
Currently I'm 17 years old and am anxious af about becoming an adult. To say my parents sheltered me is an understatement. I've never gone to churches or co-ops that other homeschoolers talk about. I got a job for a moment, but I worked for a drug addict in a very unhealthy environment getting paid 25 dollars a day for nine hour days. Since I was 16 and naïve I thought this was amazing. My mother encouraged me to keep the job despite how I eventually came to loath it. I later found out both my mother and my boss were shooting up together.
My parents have kept me from friends. They've cut themselves off from the rest of my family. I haven't gotten a birthday card from my grandparents for years lol. And both my parents forbid me from getting a license to drive, but allowed me to get a learner's permit when I turned 16. I don't drive very well and they never take me out. I stress them out when I'm behind the wheel.
They do let me drink though. Not so much since my brother got drunk and fell down the stairs, but they let me drink. They say it'll help me de-stress. They both are aware I cut myself frequently, but it's fine.
When I was eleven my mother attempted suicide. I just think they don't know how to deal with it.
Oh and one last thing. My family moves a lot. Most people think we're a military family, but the truth is my parents just fight. A lot. They've broken more furniture than I can count and often times end up taking it out on my siblings and I. Then they'll make love in their room for hours and everything's fine. I think they've tried to divorce... five times now? I stopped crying about it after the second false alarm.
They seem to think moving will help things.
We're about to move again actually. That makes it eight states I've lived in all over the country.
In conclusion, I just want to know if anyone feels as alone as I do? Like actually alone? Cut off from society and left to your worthless self.