My girlfriend is racist and I'm afraid to confront her about it.

We started dating a year ago, and at the time, nothing seemed to be wrong. We had a very loving friendship that blossomed into a relationship. More and more she revealed her true colors though. She's aggressive, and get's frustrated often. She puts up walls and won't let herself be the blame for any situation. I've often found myself putting up walls on my own, which she always tears down and get's mad at me for. This kept ruining our relationship time and time again. She used to be soft and sweet, but now she's constantly angry. I began to get angry and lash out, break pencils, and yell. But every time I got mad, she got madder, and we were always so close to breaking up. She also has somewhat conservative views, which has always striked me as strange considering she's a bisexual trans girl. Recently she shared a meme with Godzilla and King kong. It didn't strike me as anything odd. There was a movie coming out, and a debate as to who the victor would be in their fight. At first I thought it was just Godzilla having defeated King kong, smiling happily. But then she told me it was referencing the death of George Floyd. That's when I noticed Godzilla's knee was on King-kong's throat. She howled in laughter, and I grew very sad and uncomfortable. She thinks these things are hilarious. She's very pro-police, and thinks the black lives matter movement is a trend and a joke. I wish I could break up with her sometimes, but I can't help but be in love with her. I am very emotionally weak and in denial, and I don't think I'll ever be able to let her go if it's needed. Typing this is making my hand shake, I f****** hate myself.

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  • You need to get out of the relationship before it destroys you. The longer you stay, the more attached you will be, and the harder the breakup will be in the end. You don't want to be staying with such a hateful person. It may take some time, but once you get over it you will feel so much better, rather than being trapped. People can change over time. The old version of your girlfriend is damn near impossible to get back, and I promise you it won't be worth the pain and struggle to try and get the version of her that you loved before back. Also, ignore all the other racist and hateful comments on this post, and don't let anyone, even for a second make you feel like you are the problem.

  • It sounds like she needs to get rid of you.

  • She sounds like my type of lady

  • Call her out on her S H I T.

  • You have to start with the premise that it is not imperative that your relationship survive. The two of you aren't going to save mankind, or even each other, so it may be that you SHOULD break up, if the best reason for remaining together is just "so I won't be alone". You and she look at the world --- and see it --- in fundamentally different ways. Your philosophies of life and living are very, very different. In addition, I think she is not the person you thought she was, and you are also not what SHE expected. Those differences will be hard-to-impossible to overcome. You're both going to have to look at the relationship clear-eyed and in honesty, and decide if it can OR SHOULD be sustained. It won't be easy, but it has to be done. Or it will end very badly. I know you don't want to throw in the towel, because it feels like you've failed her, or it may be seen is a mistake on your part, or an insult to her. But if neither of you do anything, you could drift along for years . . . . and never find happiness. Or actual love. Best wishes to you both.

  • I don't think this is a relationship of any type. you are waiting for her to kill you. run for your life before the executioner gets you

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