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Abused and PROUD
I have been abused and neglected by my parents since I was little (Although these two words aren't enough to explain my situation, I won't drag it). I'm still emotionally being tormented but I don't protest or resist. I have never resisted. Kind of feels like it was meant to happen. I don't know why and how I started thinking like this but it feels like everything in the world is predestined and unchangeable. Like, everyone has a certain Role to play. Even though I'm an Atheist now, this type of thoughts wouldn't go away. I feel like I was meant to be here, all these were meant to happen to me. If I weren't born into this family and in this situation, someone else would've and I know ** well, nobody I've met so far, could have survived this. They would either commit suicide or turn insane long ago. So I kind of feel Proud of myself for taking the burden. Every time I see someone happy or privileged, I tell them in my mind "You're Lucky I'm taking your burden. You could've been in my place and you wouldn't survive it!".
All the more reason you shouldn't be an atheist.
There are many like you and yes we are born to be ** by powerful , politicians etc etc.
** you really love yourself... Bit too much