I ** up

I'm a 13yo f ive been fooling around with boys last week i was laying on my bed texting and my bedroom door came open it was my older cousin who is 21 i have teased him a little he came over and grabbed my arm pulling me up he took me downstairs i asked him what was going on and he said to me he can't take it anymore he ends up stripping me and leaving me with my ankle socks on i didn't have a chance to say something to him he pushed me down and got me to ** on his ** i couldn't pull away at first when i managed to i told him to stop being rough with me and that my mum would be back soon i no he said i saw her i didn't want him to be rough again so i decided to finish him off my mum could be back at any moment and the risk was turning him on i was doing the best i could when he got me to stop i thought i done something wrong he took me over to our sofa and said it will be over soon and started pushing his ** in up to that point i have only been with boys around my age he could see it was hurting me and told me it's ok it just needs to be stretched i just stayed still and let him carry on and when he was done and was getting dressed he told me it was just what he needed and i should get dressed myself the reason i say i ** up is because not long after i arranged to meet up with him and let him ** me in the back seat of his car and i can't stop and i let him come round when he wants to

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