Not according to the rules

As briefly as I can state it, I suffer from Performance Anxiety. It was going on for some time and loving my wife and also not wanting her to "look back" in our golden years with regret and wonder, I offered her the gift of sexual freedom (Hotwife). I told her this was for her needs and desires, not mine. I was not interested in participating, watching or even hearing all the details (unless she felt some was necessary), just whether or not she had a good time. The rules were simple, (1) text when she arrived and when she was on her way home (or if she was spending the night). (2) she would try to incorporate what she might "learn" to help us in out intimacy. (3) if she felt herself getting too close to someone, to break it off before she fell in love.
It began well and just once in awhile for her. But now, I find she is only following rule #1. She says that sometimes she gets so caught up she can't really remember what the guy was doing (possible I suppose) and she has fallen in love with one of her suitors (and supposedly he with her). She has now suggested (if this guy gets his own divorce), that we all live together, as she wants us both.
I know I gave her this gift and I do not ask for gifts back, but as I let her gently know, was that there is a line in the sand I will not cross and that when I look in the mirror, I need to see a man looking back and not a wimp.
I know she wants it all (who doesn't) and has read a few stories where this type of relationship has worked. I also let her know that this could lead to our divorce if she crossed my boundary, but it seems like she is willing to chance that I can come to accept this.
Not a pretty picture, but I hope that she will understand the possible consequences. As I have told her, she can find a better lover, but not a better husband. I guess it was a dumb mistake on my part, but I just wanted her to feel like more than just a wife and let her feel like a complete woman as well.

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