I hate that I feel this way about my mom

Basically my mom and I have a rocky relationship. For me I always come home and feel like I am being hounded with the negative things about me, what I do, characteristics that I need to change, What I've done wrong, ect and they all come from her. There is almost never a single positive thing that comes out of her mouth about me. Sometimes she will but its very dull. The thing is if I try to tell her about this she sees me as rude and unkind and that just creates a bigger problem. And when I distance my self from her and the rest of the family BECAUSE they see me as rude and unkind when I am expressing my feelings and thoughts they are concerned and worried about me. And they want me to talk to them SHE wants me to talk to her but I never can because 1. I never feel like she is listening 2. she just ends up making the problem worse and 3. she admits she's done something wrong but its almost always followed with "but you need to work on" and she never just apologizes. And even if she actually does apologize without a comeback or or reasoning behind her actions I still feel like she feels like she truly didn't do anything wrong because in the end she's the adult/grownup and I am just the kid. My therapist talked to her about some of these things and I can see my mom is trying to make a change in herself and coming home the last few days has actually not sucked but I still am holding back because there's apart of me that feels like if I give then things are just going to go back to the way they were and then I will be unhappy again. I'm like putting up armor and protecting myself. And I can also see that's its hurting her but I really worry that it'll just keep happening again if I give in because its been happening for almost the last 3 years of my life. Advice PLEASE

27 days

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