Driving in High Heels

When I was a young boy, many years ago, my mother explained that she put on “sensible” shoes to drive because higher heels made it difficult to feel how hard she was stepping on the gas pedal and she was afraid I would be upset if she stalled the car. Aroused by the idea that high heels could transform a skillful driver into a helpless “damsel in distress,” I experienced my first **. When I was home alone I tried on a pair of her highest heels, flexed my ankle to pump an imaginary gas pedal, and pretended my car was flooded and wouldn’t start. When I was old enough to drive I bought a pair of platform sandals with six inch heels at a thrift shop and took my old Chevy out to a deserted country road. I stalled and stalled and stalled that poor car trying to manage the pedals with those impossible heels, and when it was hopelessly flooded I would ** waiting for the gas to evaporate. Decades later I still get hard thinking about stalling an old car because my heels are too high for driving.

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