I have a vore fetish
So yeah for context I'm under 18 so uh yeah.I have had this fetish ever since I was like 5 and just I always wanted to get eaten and it always been apart of my life and I kinda hate it. I have only told one person about it and it was my former girlfriend who i only known online and I ask her if she could do roleplay and she said no and she said that she not into that stuff but she was still nice to me and didn't hold it against me or anything. Looking back I probably deserved to be cut out completely so the fact it didn't negatively effect our relationship at the time at all is a shocker. I also brought up the topic of vore at the time my best friend because I did kinda wanted to be eaten by him and/or do roleplay and also I remember we use to roleplay random adventures and on more then one occasion he ended up eating me. While it likely nothing more then a joke, it still did turn me on.
It dose affect my life like while I'm not sure how much they are connected I also have a fetish to midriff in general and i think at least apart of it is because I like to see where i would end up if I get eaten.like I can't go to school and see a girl wearing a crop top or short shirt or anything else exposing her stomach without at least thinking of being eaten by her. Same for online stuff, whenever I'm watching a video and a girl with midriff showing comes up there a good chance I will pause and like I can't even look at Instagram for more then a minute without almost a guarantee of getting turned on. Usually when people ask me how beautiful or attractive is my answer is mostly how much I want to get vored by them.crushes are also slightly a problem. The good thing is how my emotional attraction to someone has nothing to do with vore so at least there something in my social life not related to it since usually most of my crushes don't really wear anything that shows midriff but my current crush is the exception since she almost always wears something that shows midriff and I first noticed her only because I wanted to be vored by her but later I did like her personality so she like fits both categories of attraction like I both wanna be eaten by her and I also feel strong emotional attraction to her and honestly if i could I would choose to get eaten by her right now if it was actually possible since she both attractive enough and. I care about her enough to actually be willing to give up everything to be eaten.. We didn't talk last year since I was too shy but I dm her over the summer and we kinda friends now but idk how/if I'm gonna be able to talk and hang out with her properly once school starts so yeah that is a problem. Doesn't help her Insta pfp had her wearing something that shows midriff and just in general I feel guilty and I feel like I don't even deserve to be on the same planet as her and I feel absolutely disgusted with myself while I'm typing this.
I feel like this is the biggest secret of my life. Other then what I mentioned above earlier I have never came nowhere close to letting anyone know and s***. I'm in alot of online communities and while I do feel safe and accepted in them overall one thing they have all in common is they think vore at best is a joke and at worst absolutely disgusting. I understand why they along of over 99% of the population feels about it but it still kinda just hurts. I feel like this is gonna be a problem in dating since I know it probably a turnoff for over 99% of people. I think I'm just gonna hide it from any partner I have forever unless I'm sure they also like vore.
In the end i just feel like a useless weirdo with no purpose and just in general like I don't belong anywhere. In the last few days I came across interactive stories and now I read them all the time and just o hate this fetish and I hate my f****** weird ass brain and I just want it gone
Tldr: I'm a weird f*** with a weird fetish that has some affect on his life