Wishing for days gone by
I grew up in a big city. As a teen I spent a lot of time outside and riding my bike. During the summer when I turned 16 I came across two men who were kissing and having s**. They were inside the bush line but I heard a noise and went to look and saw them. I watched, watched as they kissed, watched as they got their p**** out and sucked each other and watched as one of them got on the back of the other one and they had s**.
From that day forward I dreamt of watching them and I had wet dreams about it. I always dreamt about being the one being made love to, the one on the bottom. I wanted a man to do that to me. When I was 17 I talked to a man in the restroom of our movie theater, he sucked my c*** and I sucked his and he had s** with me. I've been gay ever since.
I am now in my late fifties and living in a small town close to my sister. I have difficulty with things, and she is watches over me. I lived a fairly independent life, but this thing that I have has taken all that away. I find myself dreaming about that time I saw those two men, dreaming about that man being mounted in the bushes. I wished then I was him, I wish that I could be him now.