I tried to seduce my step brother
So last week I spent the night at my moms house because my boyfriend of 10 years and i were fighting really bad and he "broke up with me". She lives with her boyfriend, his 2 brothers and his 2 sons. His youngest son is 22. I was drinking with my mom and her bf and I drank way to much. They went to bed and I was up bored and alone so I went and knocked on his sons door and asked if he would hang out with me because i was scared. He agreed and we went to the couch in the downstairs living room. We were chatting and I kissed him and he kissed me back. Then he said no we can't. I pulled out my bewbs and put his hands on them, he touched me and kinda moaned. I tried to kiss him but he rejected me. I invited myself to his room and he layed down with me, I was laying on his arm and rubbing his chest under his shirt. He started to get a b*ner but I didn't touch it because knew we couldn't f*** . I mostly wanted to get touched and play around.
I wanted to get naked and he said no, I took of my shirt and he touched me but told me to put it back on. I was pretty sad about this. He said he needed to sleep so i went upstairs, i sent him a message in my obliterated state saying "im just a f***ing loser" because I was drunk, emotional and h0rny. i Eventually went to bed. The next morning I messaged him and told him I was sorry I should've been more respectful but if he ever wants to hangout outside of the house to text me. I've been a cam model for 4 years so I'm very straight forward about s*x. He said it's okay we're still family. I then sent him a message saying "I didn't say I was going to stop being a pervert" and that "I felt his thing when we were cuddling and i want to try it" I then added "honestly I'd be content just hanging out with you"
He told his dad what happened that night, and showed him our messages!!!
Well i guess for that week his dad(my moms bf) has been distant from her,
Yesterday he showed them to my mom.
She called me, she was in her car and didn't want to go inside. I told her I was so sorry but we didn't talk much of it because my baby was crying in the background. I feel so embarrassed, shameful, guilty and perverted.
I'm not sure how to face her or anyone for that matter. I also have to come clean about this to my bf.
You need counseling and I hope you get it.