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My perspective
I am in my early 20's I have autism live with my mom but i have a job I have low self esteem miserable my parents broke up over a decade ago my mother is disabled physically from arthritis my father has always been absent most of the time, when i was a kid i use to be much more happier until i left elementary for several months in secondary school i was bullied until eventually i got swapped around school to school eventually ended up having home tutoring for a time i excel at english but am ** at math.
Anyway i have no self esteem i often can't be bothered to cleanup after myself i'm not independent my mom cleans up after me cooks for me even she nags me to get of my lazy ** my father does the same, they both have their moments when i can just talk to them but most of the time we just argue especially when my father visits, he's not a bad guy nor is my mom but they tell me i never try...true i never try because i have tried i tried setting up a house schedule routine for myself and the household but my mom didn't like that i try coming up with plans but when ever i do my mom's disability just suddenly kick in funny part is when i stay with my father she can go out with her friends my father points this out as well but i feel that he does so in an attempt just to win me over and be on his side, when i confront my mom about not ever wanting to do anything when i recommend it she says she can't but goes on to tell me what she does for me instead, i secretly hate people in my work place i've socialized with them but theres no personality there to me they all share the same opinions about everything
And ultimately this.
What i desire is to have a friend or meet a woman, but they have to think differently have something about them so to speak personality wise because i have no interest in people who do not care for my passion/interests or similar interests, the quality i would wish to be in a woman would be introvert introverts are usually interesting and have something to say and intelligent, I often feel like turning my back and forgetting everybody and searching for a soulmate the only thing that stops me is the thought of an empty world, hence loneliness here I am alone but atleast not so alone I don't know what to do I know the world doesn't stop spinning for just one person I'm not going to be getting any younger, what I need is a purpose, a direction in life please help me find one I'll listen to any advice & criticisms if it's constructive
Maybe ask out a girl from work! I know it’s hard, but push through! Try to get out more. Life is a series of boring, exciting, happy, sad times. Maybe try online dating, but be careful (stick with local), only meet in very public place.