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My Husband is Feeding Me To Death
My husband is feeding me to death. He is what is known as a "Death Feedist". He gets off on the idea of feeding a woman until they get so obese that they die. We have been married 9 years and I've grown enormous in that time. He never stops pushing food at me because he knows how weak willed I am and that I cannot resist food or control my appetite. It's become a living ** because he is so insistent and diabolical in his constant urging me to eat. He has even said that he wants to funnel feed me weight gain milkshakes but so far I have been able mske enough excuses to avoid having to do it... I have been plump, even since childhood and that's always been okay because it was never out of control like it is now. My parents and I worked pretty hard at not letting my weight get out of hand. But since I got married things have been quite different. It started while I got engaged to my husband. I'm 5 foot 5 inches tall and I weighed about 170 pounds at that time He would take me to these all you can eat buffets at least twice a week and encourage me to eat until I was so full that I could barely breathe. With the stress of planing a wedding I would just eat unconsciously as he encouraged me to eat more and more. Consequently my weight started to surge up and up. By the time our wedding day came I was over 250lbs. With my two pregnancies I gain almost 100 pounds with each one. He just kept feeding me even though my OBGYN warned us constantly that I was gaining too much weight. My husband convinced my that the Dr. was just being over cautious and that my ballooning weight was perfectly normal for some pregnancies. I should have paid better attenton to everyone who said otherwise including my family who were agast at the physical changes I was going through. As time went on my husband became more and more forceful with his insistence on shoving food at me. After the kids were born his feederism intensified and he is now obsessed with my weight gain. I got on the scale the other day and I almost fainted when I saw the number... It was 684lbs. My husband just laughed his evil laugh and said; "Good, 700 pounds is just around the corner. I have a big breakfast waiting for you and the kids so waddle your morbidly obese ** to the kitchen table, pronto" and yes, he is also overfeeding our two daughters, ages 7 and 5 and they have developed huge appetites and are both getting terribly fat. I feel awful for them and myself and I do not know what to do. I'm always out of breath and I sometimes need oxygen. I sweat profusely and I can't even walk more than 12 or 15 steps without my knees and back screaming in protest. Most days I think I'm going to die because it is just so laborious to breathe and move. I just sit here on this broken down sofa, inbetween stuffings, like big puffed up toad gasping and waiting to explode. I haven't showered on my own in 3 years. My husband washes me with a bucket of soapy water and the garden hose on our back deck in full view of the neighbors because I cannot fit in our bathtub or shower. The neighbors all come out to stare and laugh, it's unbelievably embarrassing and although I keep a brave face, I want to break down and cry... I rarely wear anything other than a huge nightgown that is little more than a rag at this point. I've begged him to stop and to help me lose weight but he is adamant about me gaining as much weight as possible. He's killing me with food and doesn't care as long as he can **-off to my grotesquely bloated body. Thats the only upside to this is that our ** life is intensely amazing. But I now realize that I'm married to a monster. I've reached out to my parents and sister for help but they both have refused to help me, citing the fact that they warned me about my husband being a feeder/psycho in the beginning of our relationship. Unfortunately I didn't listen because I thought I was in love and that my husband was just trying to make me happy. I even cut ties with my family for years over it but now I know they were right and I need their help. But apparently their anger at my ignoring them is stronger than their concern for me. My mom even said that I'm getting what I deserve and she will see me at my funeral and hopefully there will be a casket big enough to fit me in. I never thought I would end up so isloated and cut off like this way. I guess I'm now going to have to pay for my pigheaded selfishness and reckless gluttony. Pray for me.
How do you reconcile the fact that your children are being set up for a life of morbid obesity? I could probably resign myself to being a big bloated pig if I wasn't so concerned about my kids. Children don't have a choice regarding what they are fed or how much they are fed. They usually just do what their parents or gardians condition them to do. Consequently your daughters and mine are going to be obese adults. Studies show that obese parents usually have obese children and those children grow up to be obese teens and obese adults. And with all the social, emotional and physical challenges fat people face, I can't help but think I'm doing my children a huge disservice letting them be fattened like little pigs. How do you see it?
How do I reconcile the fact that my children are fat and that they will be obese adults? That's a hard question to answer. I think mainly it is something that just comes with our family lifestyle and genetics. Also being fat is not the end of the world as we are lead to believe by elements of society with a vested interest in preying on the insecurities of fat people. I've taught them not to let their weight and size define who they are and what they can do in life. I've also taught them body positivity and not to get hung up on the numbers on the scale or their appearance. I think my husband and I have instilled a pretty good sense of self-esteem in our daughters and it shows. They're both happy, active, teens unlike many of their friends and peers. I would rather them be fat and happy than afflicted with the body disphoria that far too many young girls have today. I for one grew up with body image issues which led to an eating disorder and I have been determined not let my girls go through the same **. So if they are fat.... big deal, let them eat what they want, as long as they are mentally and emotionally well adjusted.
So basically you have resigned yourself to being too fat to move or live very long and you have sentenced your childern to be the same... I guess that's one way of looking at it but I'm not sure I could be truely happy doing that.
You do have a point about childern being happy and well adjusted. It shouldn't be linked to their weight or body image.