I can't do this anymore. If I wake up fat tomorrow I will kill myself. I don't know how to live a happy life while I'm lugging around 64 extra pounds. NO! I didn't just gain weight. I've been overweight my entire life. It wasn't until I moved in with my dad that I started to feel like I was so disgustingly fat. He's constantly reminding me that I'm putting on weight or that I'm overweight. I hate him so bad. He does nothing to help me but he wants to comment on my physical appearance. I have to do w/e I have to in order to keep paying for school and including sleeping with dirty disgusting old men to make my tuition payments. I want to be dead so bad... My dad heard me throwing up one night and the next morning I woke up and he says "you know you're losing weight... keep it up." So I did... then I started to see the enamel on my teeth wearing thin so I stopped. I lost 15lbs with bulimia and it clearly isn't enough. I want to die so badly.. I live in the city where skinny isn't skinny enough and I am by medical definition morbidly obese. The more I think about losing weight the more depressed I feel and when I stop thinking about it and I'm happy some thin little woman walks down the street or flashes on a commercial and I'm instantly reminded.