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My Husband is Feeding Me To Death
My husband is feeding me to death. He is what is known as a "Death Feedist". He gets off on the idea of feeding a woman until they get so obese that they die. We have been married 9 years and I've grown enormous in that time. He never stops pushing food at me because he knows how weak willed I am and that I cannot resist food or control my appetite. It's become a living ** because he is so insistent and diabolical in his constant urging me to eat. He has even said that he wants to funnel feed me weight gain milkshakes but so far I have been able mske enough excuses to avoid having to do it... I have been plump, even since childhood and that's always been okay because it was never out of control like it is now. My parents and I worked pretty hard at not letting my weight get out of hand. But since I got married things have been quite different. It started while I got engaged to my husband. I'm 5 foot 5 inches tall and I weighed about 170 pounds at that time He would take me to these all you can eat buffets at least twice a week and encourage me to eat until I was so full that I could barely breathe. With the stress of planing a wedding I would just eat unconsciously as he encouraged me to eat more and more. Consequently my weight started to surge up and up. By the time our wedding day came I was over 250lbs. With my two pregnancies I gain almost 100 pounds with each one. He just kept feeding me even though my OBGYN warned us constantly that I was gaining too much weight. My husband convinced my that the Dr. was just being over cautious and that my ballooning weight was perfectly normal for some pregnancies. I should have paid better attenton to everyone who said otherwise including my family who were agast at the physical changes I was going through. As time went on my husband became more and more forceful with his insistence on shoving food at me. After the kids were born his feederism intensified and he is now obsessed with my weight gain. I got on the scale the other day and I almost fainted when I saw the number... It was 684lbs. My husband just laughed his evil laugh and said; "Good, 700 pounds is just around the corner. I have a big breakfast waiting for you and the kids so waddle your morbidly obese ** to the kitchen table, pronto" and yes, he is also overfeeding our two daughters, ages 7 and 5 and they have developed huge appetites and are both getting terribly fat. I feel awful for them and myself and I do not know what to do. I'm always out of breath and I sometimes need oxygen. I sweat profusely and I can't even walk more than 12 or 15 steps without my knees and back screaming in protest. Most days I think I'm going to die because it is just so laborious to breathe and move. I just sit here on this broken down sofa, inbetween stuffings, like big puffed up toad gasping and waiting to explode. I haven't showered on my own in 3 years. My husband washes me with a bucket of soapy water and the garden hose on our back deck in full view of the neighbors because I cannot fit in our bathtub or shower. The neighbors all come out to stare and laugh, it's unbelievably embarrassing and although I keep a brave face, I want to break down and cry... I rarely wear anything other than a huge nightgown that is little more than a rag at this point. I've begged him to stop and to help me lose weight but he is adamant about me gaining as much weight as possible. He's killing me with food and doesn't care as long as he can **-off to my grotesquely bloated body. Thats the only upside to this is that our ** life is intensely amazing. But I now realize that I'm married to a monster. I've reached out to my parents and sister for help but they both have refused to help me, citing the fact that they warned me about my husband being a feeder/psycho in the beginning of our relationship. Unfortunately I didn't listen because I thought I was in love and that my husband was just trying to make me happy. I even cut ties with my family for years over it but now I know they were right and I need their help. But apparently their anger at my ignoring them is stronger than their concern for me. My mom even said that I'm getting what I deserve and she will see me at my funeral and hopefully there will be a casket big enough to fit me in. I never thought I would end up so isloated and cut off like this way. I guess I'm now going to have to pay for my pigheaded selfishness and reckless gluttony. Pray for me.
Don't be so ** yourself it is his fault no doubt. You are holding it together for your kids.
I wonder if you could find somebody in your area that could help through physically removing you from the house. they may be able to help you emotionally too. I'll bet you could find people on feederism sites that would be willing to help you or other social media.
As for Christmas, some strategies you could try are
1 make a complicated menu that would have him cooking all day.
2 Stuff yourself beforehand so when he goes to feed you there's only so much you can take and he will be forced to either keep feeding you (and risk having to clean up sick) or give up.
3 maybe ask him if he would decrease the funneling on xmas so you can have more room for good food. this will take up a lot more time.
I'll bet it's hard to enjoy food when he is forcing you to overeat. Are you just constantly nauseous?
There is no way that you can enjoy food when it is being forced on you. I'm going to admit that I absolutely LOVE food. I would probably be very fat if left to my own devices but this forcing and funnel feeding is killing any enjoyment I once had. I know my husband gets off on it and he doesn't care if I do. I sometimes have bouts of nausea but most of the time I just feel bloated and over full. You know when you have eaten too much and you feel it all the way up into your chest and it's hard to breath, that's how I feel most of the time. The only time I don't feel that way is first thing in the morning before I get stuffed for breakfast and from then on it only gets worse. By the time I go to bed I'm so bloated and stuffed I can barely breathe. I'm so afraid that I will suffocate in me sleep from all the weight pressing from my ** and abdomen.
Thank you, for the suggestions and I will look into them. I have to be careful though. My husband checks my phone. I have to empty the browsing history everytime I use it. If he catches me talking to someone that wants to help me, he will take the phone and not give it back and make it even harder on me by feeding me and the children even more. He has done it before and will do it again. He is truly a monster. I'm not sure who can help me. Fat people don't elicit much sympathy from most people. We are usually seen as lazy, dirty, stupid and just plain worthless. Most people figure our weight is a result of gluttony, greed and a lack of self-respect. And they are right to a point. Why should some person have empathy for me when I'm at least partly to blame for my predicament. I know you said don't be so ** myself but in this situation, it's very hard not to.
Face it, pig. You are what you are. A big fat disgusting crybaby glutton and you deserve to be treated like a pize hog. Stop whining and let your husband just stuff you and your piggy kids until you all explode.
I know what I am but my children don't deserve what they are getting. You're a **.
You may have not minded the weight gain and feeding early on but from the first time you told him no it became abuse and he and he alone is responsible.
I bet the after effects of his feedings have got to be awful. What does it feel like?
You have no idea. I suffering right now from the stuffing I got at breakfast. From here on it will be almost non-Stop until he let's me go to sleep. My husband works from home so I can never be alone and get a break. When he has to go out he has his sister come over and make sure I eat whatever he prepares for me. She is a horrible person. She would be right at home running a concentration camp... She always bring fast food or donuts for the children. The children think she's the best aunt ever but I know what she is doing to them. She is making sure they get enormous like me.
I'm so full right now I can barely breathe. That's no joke. I'm on oxygen right now. My stomach is so distended and painful that if it weren't for all the layers of blubber, it would feel hard as a rock. I'm gasping and sweating profusely. I wish I could throw up but the idea of fircing myself to puke is to awful to me. I now have to have a bowel movement, (second one today) and he will make me wait until I cannot hold it any longer and I have to beg him to get me to the commode. If I have accident he will punish in ways that I cannot relay here. The saddest part is the commode is just on the other side of the room, no more than 5 of 6 steps away. It sits there almost mocking me but I'm too fat, too full, too heavy, to get up and walk the few steps without help.
I'm so sorry you have to endure that. Maybe you could offer to eat the food meant for the kids instead to spare them
I'm sorry that sounds unbearable. What an evil person.
I totally get it throwing up is never fun. it is however quicker than sitting full all the time. not advocating bullemia mind you. You mentioned he forbade you to purge after stuffing, but would that apply if you got sick because you simply kept eating beyond your limit? You would lose weight crazy fast if you calorie intake was lowered even a little I'll bet.
you should give yourself some credit though, you are trying to resist him but he is holding your kids hostage. just by posting here you are showing strength of character.
Does he ever take you out to eat? or too hard to move around for that?
Do your kids ever complain to him or you about being overfull or commenting on their own weight? I know you said the school sent home a letter.