Confusing relationship

My friend and I have been in a relationship for several years now. We're both married and stay at home moms. It all started with doing chores and shopping together. We don't consider ourselves to be lesbians. The problem is that it is so confusing and my brain goes in circles. We spent a lot of time together before anything physical started, but it seems "just" physical. Sometimes I think I'm in love with her but I'm not gay. I just don't understand.

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