Uncaring Caregiver

I just got off the phone with my mother, who is in a psychiatric hospital (atleast her 14th involuntary commitment in 14 years) and is also dealing with physical health issues. She has PTSD, bipolar, and is manic (and psychotic, according to the doctors) when she is hospitalized. However now she keeps talking about suicide, and it is all I can do not to egg her on! None of my siblings or other relatives even talk to her anymore, but everyone expects me to handle it....like I have done nearly all my life for everyone. I have actually prayed that she die, get killed, commits suicide or atleast has a horrible accident that leaves her either paralyzed or brain damaged! I know I am horrible person for these thoughts, but I am so sick and tired of dealing with it. I want my own life to be my own life I want to take care of kids not my adult mother! Any thoughts?!

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  • I see both sides of this i cared for my ill mother it is very hard to deal with and you thoughts are common. I think you should seek help for yourself before you end up in the same shape she is in someone to help you cope and understand how to deal with it and her. I suggest next time she calls tell her if she is going to talk crazy and act nuts you can't talk to her until she is calm and as close to normal as she can get..Dn't tell her you hate her or that you wish she was dead or that she isn't your mother because if she does die you will hate yourself and wish you had never said it. Just get some help for yourself first

  • you do need to move on. it is a parents job to raise the child not the other way around. there is NO WAY POSSIBLE that this did not leave you damaged. you need a councillor to help you. it will suck but you need to go to understand. and just because you see a councillor does NOT make YOU nuts. it will help.

  • You deserve your own f****** life, f*** her

  • my mother died 4 days ago. she also had ptsd, manic bipolar, manic compulsive, and depressed. she self medicated with prescription drugs and alcohol. i moved out 4 years ago when i was 13 and sporatically talked to her throughout those years. she moved to california 7 months ago and i was always very mean to her in hopes she would sober up. however, i always thought it would be just easier if she was already dead. she let everyone down too much. she tried commiting suicide multiple times throughout my whole childhood. the last thing i told her was she was not a mother, how much i hated her, and how she should never call me again. she overdosed 4 days ago. as much as you resent taking care of her for so long, it is a mental illness. i am still in shock and numb about this. but its normal to think these things. it will get better in time, she is sick remember. not intentionally trying to hurt you.

    there is hope.

  • Walk away.
    You are not her mother.

    If she really is f****** up your life to the point of you wanting her dead, it's time to walk away and let her life be whatever it winds up being.

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