I just got off the phone with my mother, who is in a psychiatric hospital (atleast her 14th involuntary commitment in 14 years) and is also dealing with physical health issues. She has PTSD, bipolar, and is manic (and psychotic, according to the doctors) when she is hospitalized. However now she keeps talking about suicide, and it is all I can do not to egg her on! None of my siblings or other relatives even talk to her anymore, but everyone expects me to handle it....like I have done nearly all my life for everyone. I have actually prayed that she die, get killed, commits suicide or atleast has a horrible accident that leaves her either paralyzed or brain damaged! I know I am horrible person for these thoughts, but I am so sick and tired of dealing with it. I want my own life to be my own life I want to take care of kids not my adult mother! Any thoughts?!