I need some opinions

Hello, I want to start by mentioning who is involved in this story. You have Me, then one of my best friends who will be referred to as C (not their actual starting initial) and Z (also not their actual starting initial), C’s ex.

To set the scene, I am best friends with C, but I also happen to be friends with Z. Me and Z are not too close but we still talk every now and then. C and Z start to have some problems within their relationship. Both C and Z come to me for help on what to do about the situation and I do my best to help accordingly. Despite our best efforts, they ended up breaking up. C felt very hurt, and C told me their pov of what happened. Z also came to talk to me about the issues, and I come to hear very different things.

From Z’s perspective, it seemed like C kinda dug themself into a hole, and Z was trying their best to fix it but Z failed to save their relationship. This is very different from what C told me, where Z was being the most problematic one.

Fast forward about two months since the breakup, I am playing mc with Z and BeReal, (the app that requests you to take a picture at a random time in the day to well Be Real), goes off. So I decide to take a picture of my screen and post it as my BeReal. Turns out that picture would be the last straw for C. They’ve been noticing me still being friends and appearing to get closer to Z. This would be true, as a high school graduate I wanted to get closer to the few people I still had in my circle.

(Mind the sentence structure in this paragraph, I’m trying my best to remain unbiased in my retelling)
So C starts to ignore me, I continue sending them memes and messages as usual until a week in I decide to ask what’s wrong. C feels very hurt that I’m spending time with someone that hurt them. C feels like I am neglecting everything we had built as friends, so I can continue to stay friends with Z. C feels like I am choosing Z over them.

I see this as valid, however, I feel as though that’s a bit unfair. For another bit of backstory, C’s past two breakups have caused their friends (including me) to be affected. It affects who we can interact with and who we can’t.

This was important to mention because I use this as my main point for countering C’s claim. I say that it’s unfair and unreasonable for C’s breakup to be affecting and limiting the people I interact with.

After that, it’s important I mention that I agree more with Z’s perspective on what happened during their relationship issues. I watched my friend make some not so good decisions that I feel worsened their relationship, but I didn’t feel like I had the authority to say something unless they decided to ask me about it.

Me and C think very differently. I am a very logical thinker, but C is largely controlled by their emotions. This drastic difference has caused a stalemate between us. My most recent message has been left on seen, and nothing has changed for a month. I spent a lot of time trying to understand C’s perspective, but I’m having a hard time, so I seek your opinions.

I also want to quickly mention that I have never been in a relationship. A lot of the emotions C was experiencing are things I have never had to deal with, which makes it really hard to sympathize with C, making it harder for me to know what to do next.

I tried my best to keep it short but this is such a complicated story that I really need to mention all of it. I just hope that one day, I can mend this friendship. C is of utmost importance to me, I couldn’t have gotten to where I am without their support for my own self expression, academics, etc..
However, if the day comes that C finalizes the fact that they don’t want to fix out friendship (they said that they don’t want to fix it yet right before I got left on seen), I feel as though I’m ready to move on.

I am grateful for any input you have. Thank you for reading, and do not be afraid to share, all opinions are welcome.

Jul 27

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  • How about all three of you do a 3sum and make peace?

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