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Femininity Starved Husband Here...
I've come to realize that my wife is not as traditionally feminine as a lot of other women. I've felt this for a long time, but didn't have the language to actually communicate it. I initially liked her because she was cool and laid back, but I'm missing something in her that I notice immediately in other women I run across.
She's not a tomboy and she dresses lady-like, but yeah... Sometimes dealing with other women when I'm out and about feels like a fresh glass of water.
Take my 23 yr old coworker. I find her feminine charm to be so alluring that it's almost intoxicating sometimes. I'm in my late 40's and I have more of a family relationship with her and my other coworkers so don't get me wrong, I'm not looking to take things with her any further, but interacting with her is a treat for me. It wouldn't happen anyways, nor would a relationship work. I guess it has crossed my mind and I lied lol. There is a line that I do maintain with her and she's maintains boundaries as well.
My wife introduced me to her female coworker once, and the breeze of femininity that was projecting from this woman was so strong that I almost felt like I was standing next to an inferior woman. She was a nice looking woman, but it wasn't even so much that I was physically attracted to her, nor did I immediately want her in any capacity, it was just the impression she made that made me realize exactly what I was missing and it's such a mental turn on. I wasn't able to put it into words then and it was just a feeling.
I've brought it up to her in as nice of a way I could (it was in one of those "I have nothing to lose arguments"), and her knee ** reaction was to blame me for not being all that I can be as a husband. But she knows it, and I guess this is what I signed up for. She once told me, early on, that she thought I'd be the type to look for a soft, "girly girl" type, and I laughed it off. But I was just too happy go lucky and hadn't defined fully what I was looking for in a wife for myself.
We're almost a decade in marriage and we share kids together, I want to keep my family together and I'd feel guilty for leaving all ** nilly just to chase my own selfish desires. It would be devastating for the kids, too, and we've done well together. But it is impacting other areas like intimacy was well, where I'm not as revved up to service her like I should be.
Idk... There's been a lot of talk of feminity and what not online and especially in men's spaces, but it's a real thing with a lot of us guys, and like I said, I was feeling it before I ran across online conversations and found the vocabulary to lay it out.
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