Crush at work
It started off like any of the other innocent crushes I've had during my marriage; she's cute, she seems to think I'm cute, we flirt a little, but there's nothing serious behind it. As I get to know her better, I start to like her more and more, and we become pretty close friends, especially when we start carpooling and having these great conversations in the car. But I love my wife, and my coworker loves her husband, so we're just friends who have a little attraction to each other-- I've been through this before, and it never interferes with my feelings for my wife.
And then she goes and leaves her husband because they just aren't working out anymore. It's like there was this crack I didn't know about in the wall my heart, and all of a sudden it bursts open and my exclusive love for my wife starts gushing out, and feelings for my coworker that have been lurking around outside are suddenly whooshing in. When she hugs me or says something sweet to me, I get butterflies in my stomach around her-- something I haven't felt for any woman since I met my wife over a decade ago. Worse than that, my feelings for my coworker seem to have deadened my romantic and sexual desire for my wife; I still care for my wife deeply, but more like a sister than a lover.
I tell myself this will never go anywhere, because (1) I love my wife too much to hurt her so, (2) my coworker is already seeing a new guy, and (3) I wouldn't have the guts to go through with something like this. But it feels more and more like my coworker and I are heading down the path towards an affair.
The reason I'm confessing this is that I can't tell my coworker, and I can't tell my wife, so I need to get it off my chest. I'm not asking for anybody to tell me what to do, because I know what the right thing to do is. I just needed to tell someone. So thank you so much for reading this and understanding.