It's just nice when someone understands

A little backstory. I am bipolar. Was on a lot of meds, went through a lot of therapy, learned coping skills, quit meds. Have been doing really well but struggling with growing alcoholism. Recently got the birth control implant and the hormones have my emotions running absolutely wild. My coworker is very similar to me, mentally.

After one of our dogs escaped about a week ago, I've spent long nights staying up drinking alone, monitoring rescue websites and posting online absolutely everywhere, getting drunker and sadder by the minute. I told my coworker how my nights have been and she said "be careful with that." I told her I wasn't going to, like, kill myself or anything, but she knows. She knows what it's like to revert to that roller coaster of emotions. Going from depressed to angry to laughing while crying and utterly confusing everyone in your life. She knows that when you drink excessively and feel depressed you can quickly fall into suicidal thoughts without even realizing it... Because it's not just that you lost your dog... It's that the feeling of depression over something (relatively) small starts to make you think of every other awful thing that's ever happened and how your life is going nowhere and you get overwhelmed with hopelessness.

She's been there.

I appreciate having someone around who knows exactly how s***** my brain operates sometimes.

2 Comments

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  • I worked with a Gal that was bipolar. Felt bad for her, she was a nice Person.

  • As a semi-recovered alcoholic myself (it is still a battle, and I'm not totally clean), I know how the disease is so often linked to depression, anxiety, and any number of other conditions. My advice is to get some rigorous exercise. It might help with the cravings and stabilize the brain. Once that happens, your thoughts might become less erratic.

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