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I only realised a couple of weeks ago that being spanked on my ba
I always thought I had a normal childhood and teenage years. My parents were nice to me (or so I thought) and I turned out okay with a good career in my late 20s now. A couple of weeks ago I was watching a movie, and a spanking scene triggered some horrible flashbacks.
My parents would spank me as punishment until I was around 17. They didn't just spank me through my clothes, they would make me pull my pants and underwear down, whether it was my mum, dad, or both doing it. I was always obedient because I thought I deserve it and I thought my parents are good people that are teaching me a lesson. They would do it for reasons such as bad grades, getting detentions, going out without telling them, coming home late, just typical stuff that a kid/teen would do that parents wouldn't like. It would happen maybe every month or two.
They would make me lean over on the nearest table and spank me with their bare hands until my backside turned red and I was crying. Sometimes they would lay on the couch or their bed, and I would have to lay on one of their laps when they spanked me. They would tell me it's for my own good and that they're being gentle because they don't want long term damage or bleeding. Even though my mum also did it, she would rub lotion on it afterwards and give me hugs and comforted me. I thought she was being a kind person.
It was humiliating in my teens. It was bad enough that they saw my backside, but my ** was visible when I was bent over like that and my parents would make comments on it. They would say stuff like my ** has developed a lot since I was younger and that I need to shave when I hadn't shaved in a while. Sometimes they would make me lay on my back and lift my legs up if they wanted to slap my soles as well as my backside. When they did this my entire ** was visible and they would slap my hands away if I tried covering up because they would get in the way.
I was always a "good girl" and thought that the stuff my parents did was normal and for my own good, so I always went with it and never argued with them. This is why it didn't really affect me until recently, because I thought it's normal behaviour. I had never been "triggered" by anything until I watched that movie. I talked to friends and apparently nothing like this has happened to them. I'm going to get therapy in a few days because it has really been affecting me.
My mother has always been very strict and I 20M still crave her discipline.