Account Login
Life goes on
Right basically I don’t know why but I ahve just not been feeling like myself recently and school and homework and ** like that have been stressing me out so much that I’m changing myself into a horrible person . I constantly keep having arguments with people I love and hurting them and I don’t know why and whenever I try to talk to people I feel like I just can’t and then I’ll be overthinking it over and over again trying to think of ways to tell people that I’m not in a good frame of mind and that I’m really struggling but I feel like if I tell people then it’ll appear weak and then people will use that against me. I’ve also been smoking and drinking again and it’s just getting worse like I was a solid month sober and I just ruined it all over a little bit on inconvenience I’ve also been starving myself again and I’m trying not to because I’ve promised so many people but I feel like I can’t tell anyone because I promised it wouldn’t get this bad again but I just can’t help it because I honestly feel like I’m going in circles and I honestly don’t know how much longer I can stay like this before I do something just and just can’t do it anymore.
But I know I can’t do anything because the other night i got a call from my best friends brother saying how he ran away and then a couple of minutes of later I got a snap saying “if you got sent this know I loved you and I’m sorry if I’ve ever hurt you” I instantly started panicking and crying and checked his location. I was the only one with his location. I got my clothes on and ran out the door and got in the car with my parents. We drove into town and was trying to find him. I spotted him and jumped out a moving vehicle and chased him. He got away from me. I called the police and while on the phone with the police I picked up my friend’s brother and brought him to where his mum and aunt was. They were balling their eyes out and then someoje who was important to both me and my friends family (let’s call him star) pulls up to help look so there’s 3 cars looking I get told where he is. I comfort his mum and brother and we go to where he was seen and me and his brother get out the car and start looking on foot. At this point we’d been searching for an hour and a bit and me and his brother were out alone with each other looking around and running. Then star pulls up and stays with us for a bit until I get sent a snap that shows where my bsf was and we were slightly out of frame in the photo so we start running up the hill he was sat on the police start chasing my friend and I collapse on the hill crying while the police and my brothers friend start climbing the hill.
Star comforts me and tells me come on so me star and my bsf brother run up the stairs and the police officer I was on the phone with say they caught up with my friend and we heard the police officer say we’re over here. I went to run over but I wasn’t allowed. Seeing my friend tramatized me and I’ll never forget the day I almost lost my bestfriend and it’s really been effecting me like a lot because I just want to disappear but after that I’d feel like an attention seeker as it was only recently he did it I wouldn’t wanna make things worse.
No Comments Yet