I’m letting my friend stay with me and I’m starting to hate her

I 27F and letting my 26F friend stay with me for 14 days due to moving to my city out of a bad family situation.

I agreed to let her stay with me but now I feel regret in doing so, she’s only been here 2 days and now I’m unsure if I can tolerate her here for another 12, for some background I’m a neat person and sensitive to smells and have a set routine, I knew going in that my friend has some learning curves when it comes to these things especially with hygiene as a bigger person, that being said the problems I’m having with her apart from finding a way to talk directly to her about it without hurting her feelings since she’s sensitive is bringing up that she’s not showering well enough she leaves a smell when she walk or gets off my couch and it’s grossing me out,I know we all have bottlie functions but it’s been ** me off that she openly farts on my couch and just giggles or on my couch pillows, she leaves trash behind I have to constantly remind her to pick up after herself, she’s sleeping on the floor since I don’t have a guest bed and I don’t trust her to sleep in my living room(I live in a townhouse style apartment so that is on the bottom floor) the reason I don’t trust her is I don’t trust her to not stay up watching Netflix on my Roku or mess with my equipment, and I honestly don’t want my couch to sag, tonight the night I’m posting I had to tell her to shower she wanted to bathe even though we were out all day and she worked up a sweat and a bath without a shower is just sitting in your own stinky sweat water and it’s wasted hot water,I shower nightly so I don’t exactly want to wait an hour and a half to shower when she chooses to shower at 9pm, she also wants to go to bed early 7pm and be alone in my room (tonight she was on the phone with her family while I was in the shower lounging on my bed after I told her not to lay on my bed (not wearing underwear I had to spray down my bed) and again I just don’t trust her to not sneak using my products and I’m very low income, so I’m sparing with my stuff, idk how to tell her kindly without being an **. I usually stay up late watching shows and she complains about them. My other issue is having to feed her while I’m on limited food stamps and she got approved for her own.

While on subject of food she decided to take a shot of hot sauce and when she wanted to drink dairy she wanted to drink my coffee creamer,I can only buy one on my budget that needs to last me the month so hearing her casually suggest it really irked me.
I have an emotional support cat that is skittish and only likes to be around me that usually sleeps with me but since she’s been here he runs and she won’t just leave him alone she’s constantly excited to try and pet him when I’d prefer if she would just not ** touch him. I’m just ** off that I set boundaries but if I try to remind her that she takes it like I’m gonna yell at her, I want to be nice and understanding but at the same time I’m getting so silently ** off my ears turn red and hot. I don’t feel like me or my space or my cat are being respected and my apartment has now a funky gross smell due to her lack of good hygiene and smell awareness’s , it’s also upsetting to see my cat distance himself from me because of her presence and now I’m regretting letting her into our space since now I cannot sleep due to the cat sleeping elsewhere nor can I concentrate on things that make me happy like reading because I feel so disregulated. She also does stumps that are disruptive during shows along with talking so my concentration on my nightly foreign shows is gone.

I’m also annoyed at how loud she talks while on the phone later in the night or in general.

I want to be a good friend but I also just want her out of my space idk if I’m an ** for thinking that I should find an excuse to get her to leave before the 14 days but it’s only been 2 and I feel like I can’t bring these issues up without her shutting down completely. I don’t have anyone else I can discuss this with besides my counselor and my appointment isn’t till next week.
I’m even contemplating asking my apartment manager if she can make up an excuse to have her leave so she doesn’t think I’m the one giving her the boot.

I just want to not have a smelly messy apartment, but to sleep with my cat by my side again, while peacefully catching up on my reading/shows without disturbance.

I honestly feel like crying and screaming, I feel like my space is being violated and that if I say anything the friendship will be destroyed and she will just shut down.

Related Posts

More Related Posts