I puke

I came on here to see if there were any other confessions from people who have eating disorders. I've been suffering for almost 2 years now, I don't think I've eaten a real meal in that time and not puked. Sometimes I think that i'm going to die it hurts so bad.

Ive tried to stop so many times, ive tried to eat with the intention of keeping it down but then something happens in my mind and i can't seem to let myself keep it down.

I don't think of the future, cause i don't think ill have one, Ive never told anyone before, i'm afraid of people finding out my secret when they look at me, everywhere i go i get judged, people say random comments about how skinny i am and wow how do i stay so skinny and sometimes I just want to say well.. I don't eat anything, ever, and when I do, I puke

Sometimes my body starts tingling all over, i get sore knees, my tounge swells cause i am so dehydrated, I get dizzy and can't concentrate on anything. I can't go to the dentist cause i am scared that they will find out two of my teeth are pretty rotten from puking. also if they look in my throat they might find something also.

The last time that I got my period was August 2008 so i don't take birthcontrol anymore, i have honestly forgot ever having it, I have tampons that i have had since before and i'm afraid that someone will find them and ask why i have so many and they never seem to decrease

Family holidays are painful cause i have to eat and its reallly hard to puk after, i usually make excuses to leave, but if i wait to long after eating without puking it hurts so bad.

Sometimes i puke in jars in my room if I think that people are suspicious of me going to the bathroom too many times, I could puke any time any where, pretty much everytime i go to the bathroom i puke

I am 27 years old, i am 5'5 and weigh 92 lbs. i was down to 86.5 lbs before and pretty much thought i was going to die everyday, do i want to die i don't know

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  • I was never diagnosed with a disorder, i never saw a doctor. But I lost alot of weight. My stomach shrunk, parents actually forced me to eat, it caused love loss in my family, i'd make myself vomit every chance i got, take food to school but put it in the bin straight away. Even now i can't eat a full meal, i seriosuly see fat in the mirror. people really don't understand what it's like. i know im under weight. but i feel fat. so im going to keep doing it. I cry over my appearance all the time.

    I know your problem is alot worse but just know that you're not alone.

  • I can't even begin to imagine what it's like to have an eating disorder... I will keep you in my prayers!

  • ok your bulimic. -sigh- i had a eating disorder. it was kinda a weird mix. i use to play food games. id measure everything i ate right down to the T. only 500calories a day then next week only 300and it would decrease from there. i was dehydrated and always dizzy. always felt sick. i cut up my food into exact pieces i will eat. i dont eat my french fry ends. i tell you this so you arent alone. id starve myself if i thought it helped but i just get way to sick. do you wanna stop at all? do you wanna let yourself die just bc you want to be skinny/

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