I hate myself

I know there are tons of people who probably say that everyday & no one really gives a s***...If you saw me, met me, knew me...You wouldnt think I would want to die; not in a million years.

I'm 20 years old & have an awesome career (I make more than the average 25-30 year old) I have a boyfriend who loves & adores me & would do anything for me & has asked me to spend the rest of my life with him. I have a family that would kill for me, friends that have been there through it all & will still be there in the end.

But sadly...I just dont care. I love all of them more than anything in this world...but its myself that I dotn care about.

I know my life isnt that hard, things could always be Much worse...but I dont know. I just wake up & put a fake smile on my face & just fake it. I fake everything. I fake the laughs. I fake the smiles. I fake the happiness.

Sometimes I wish I could live on a mountain top with no ways of communication so that I could just disappear from this world forever...

That will never happen though...I'll go on everyday with this fake smile. I'll go to work & bust my ass everyday & wont complain a single bit. I'll hang out with everyone laughing & crackin jokes like nothings wrong...& no one will ever know.

I hate myself

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  • I hate myself too.

  • Actually i'm far from "emo" I've never tried to hurt myself in any way at all & killing myself is the last thing I would do.

    I used to volunteer all the time (when I was happier) Maybe I'll look into that again = ) thx

  • Go out and help others. Volunteering helped me with depression in more ways than I ever knew it would.

  • EMOOOOOOO

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