Back in 2008, I wrote this girl S some very mean emails. I was p***** that she was dating a guy I was romantically involved with. Their relationship was messed up beyond belief. He had broken up with her before, but she used manipulation and his bond to her son to get him to take her back. She then turned around and dumped him. That's when he and I started getting involved. I knew that I wouldn't end up with him, but I was happy, and he had confessed he had liked me as more than a friend for over a year..before S and her kid came on the scene. I felt he was mine and she stole him from me.

The guy had told me and others he didn't plan on being with her for the long term. He always talked trash about her. When I found out she was back on the scene and that he had made me the other woman, I was livid at them both. S knew what to say and do to get him back with her. I was mad at him for lying to me so I found out where she worked and told her EVERYTHING he had said and done behind her back. Everything I had said was the truth except for the fact he got somebody pregnant. Well, truth be told, I wanted to have his child, but it didn't work out. I called her a golddigger, s***, and that her son was a b******(technically he is). I also made fun of her fake tan..which for the record looks REALLY bad. What I hoped to accomplish was they would break up and he'd find somebody else. Like I said, I knew we were just having a fling, but felt he deserved far better.

Evidently, S is very immature. She showed the emails to everybody and got the guy to do the same. She actually called the cops because she thought I was coming to kill her. I wasn't going to do that. I knew all that personal stuff about her because the guy told me. Thankfully, I got word of her plans thanks to somebody's big mouth. I immediately stopped writing her and just settled for slandering her. Everything I said about her was true. But now I feel bad that I sunk to that level. They did eventually break up, but not because of me. He did exactly what I said he'd do: find somebody else and leave her and her son in the dust. But I do want to apologize to her for my actions. I would email her, but I know that she has a tendency to take things out of context and show private messages. I was angry the guy I loved kept being taken away from me. I was bitter that our relationship; which had no drama, was messed up because she came on the scene. I was angry that the baby I thought I was going to have with him didn't come to be. But when S came along with her kid and he started acting like a daddy, I went crazy. He freaked at the idea of having his own child. I was livid. But what I said about him not being faithful was true. I was the other woman and going through a terrible time when all that happened. I'm sorry, S. And I'm sorry he dumped you for good last year and made things official with another girl just a few short months afterwards. I know that was a slap in the face when you heard about it. But I was wrong to confront you in the way I did.

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  • It really sounds as though everyone moved on except for you. So you're not really happy with the way you acted...maybe not one of your finer moments. But you've owned it. That's a huge huge step. Read other confessions, and you'll see others have done far worse and won't take accountability. Perhaps you could apologize for your actions..it could help you move on. And your apology would either be appreciated by S or completely lost on her. Regardless, somehow you have to find a way to move on. Definitely speaking with a professional would benefit you. Give you insight and an ear that your friends cannot. Start eating, start laughing, start exercising..get those endorphins moving, start taking care of yourself again. It will help with some of the depression and lonliness you're feeling. Meeting with friends, meet new friends get your life back on track. You'll be fine and then can meet someone new (when you're ready).Good luck. Know that you can do this!

  • Loving this post. Best advice I have seen on this website to date. I agree, move forward, you can do this. Best of luck!!

  • P.S Yes, loneliness and feeling uncared for is no doubt, making things harder for you. But at the end of the day, most friends would not be able to cope with such heavy stuff. Start by finding a good counsellor or self help book/s. Once you've taken your first few steps, then begin to seek out fellow recoverees. Places like yoga or meditation classes, or anything that you find therapeutic, and held in a fairly organised environment.

  • **1. Find the best counsellor or psychologist that you can, and work your butt off to get to the root causes of this. Your behaviour and desperation, if left unresolved, could easily lead you to prison, cos you're obviously in a very dark place right now. **2. Stick to a limited no. of sessions, otherwise you'll probably end up rambling and wasting loads of sessions with the counsellor, cos you'll be thinking, ''I can always get down to the -real- issues next session''. **3. And if you really do need some more sessions after your initial block of them are up, take a break, then return. Taking a break helps you know how good (or bad) the therapy was working for you, and digest what you've learned. **4. If you can't afford therapy, research useful self help books for jealousy, anger and depression online. Eckhart Tolle has written some excellent, easy to read self help books. Nothing like the crud that clogs up the market these days! Free clips of his stuff on youtube. Best wishes and good on you for at least realising and owning up to your past mistakes.

  • Well .. i feel alone.
    Crap, i dont wanna eat,
    Alls i want is somebody to understand and to listen,
    And i thought people could, my friends try to but they cant, their not supportive enough to feed my loneliness because they dont know how to handle it.
    I just need a friend right now.
    Someone to listen
    Someone to care
    Because nobody does.
    No one.

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