Sorry

I was 14 when I was pregnant. Turned 15, and got an abortion 4 months into my pregnancy. I'm 16 & diagnosed with depression. I think of killing myself constantly so that I could be with my baby. I hate everything about myself. I try to forget. I am so sorry, for giving up my baby. I felt my baby kick & I will never forgive myself. I hate my parents for forcing me to get rid of my baby. They left me when I needed them the most. I will never forget what they told me, "you're an embarrassment to the family. if you don't get rid of it we will put you in an adoption home." They wonder why I hate them so much now. I do everything I can to get away from reality. I steal anything I can get away with, I eat my emotions, I pierce myself to cause harm to myself, I will never make that mistake ever again and cut myself, leaving evidence... I smoke weed daily now, & I abuse my anti-depressants and pop 7 pills to get away when I can't get my hands on any weed, I binge drink to get away, I have s** with guys I don't like and pretend I enjoy it. I'm just trying to escape this miserable life. I wish this was a nightmare, I want to wake up in the abortion room & stop everything.

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  • You killed a baby. Your baby. Abortion is wrong and child is a child from conception. I say kill yourself. The pills are good start. Take the whole bottle and drink yourself silly. Your life is f***** forever. Quietly remove yourself from society. You will become a statistic and I am sure your parents will really feel the pain and regret their actions. Suicide is the ultimate f*** you to your parents. If you use a gun go for heart. Headshots are messy. Brains, bone, and gooey s*** spray everywhere. Heart shots are instant death.

  • wait wait wait!!!! I can understand how miserable you feel, because you are not alone and the only person with these issues around you, even I feel same. But I don't think feeding on weed or drinking your senses out is the solution. Even I feel frustrated and hopeless. You have just lost a baby, I agree its very painful. The guilt you feel is the real punishment for your sins. Don't increase your sins by using weeds and alcohol. Having more s** with guys make you more emotionally weak. Do things only you like, just don't care for anybody in this world because you are unique and there is nobody else as you. There are tones of people who are leading a more miserable life than yours'. More you use weed and alcohol, more you lose the mental power to deal with issues. Its all up to you dear, you gotta make up your mind. There is nothing beyond your mind power. Have a glorious life!!!! Love you :-)

  • Stop hurting yourself, put the drugs down and stop escaping from life. Deal with your issues and your loss head on. Your parents didn't know how to handle or deal with the news when you came to them with the pregnancy. You're not an embarrassment, your parents just had a different path for you and they're not expressing that very well. They love you and truly want the best for you. They want to see you succeed, not become a mother at 14/15. Put the past behind you and get your life back on track. You have your entire life ahead of you. You have plenty of time to grow up, live your life ahead of you to establish yourself in your career, get married and have children when you're ready and the time is right. Raising children requires a lot of money and time, wait until you can actually provide that. Now please go and speak to your therapist about what your feeling.

  • A baby isn't real until it is held in the arms of it's mother.
    If your parents think that you're an embarrassment to the famly, prove htem wrong. Get good grades, stop with the weed.
    Think of it this way:
    If you ruin your life now, you'll never have a baby. You'll never get to try again.
    I'm 14 years old. I'm a complete stranger but I don't want you to mess up your life. Your beautiful, and don't ruin yourself now. Have a baby when you're ready to be a mother; when you have money to give your baby everything he/she wants. Draw butterflies on your arm, and write the name of your baby in them. Now if you cut your killing the butterflies.
    You're beautiful!!

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