A confession for every category...

Embarrasing: I confess that I write dirty s**-abuse stories on my computer because I want the things I write to happen to me.

Friends/Family: I confess that I wish I had a time machine so I could go back in time and "save" my mom. So much s*** happened to her that she never deserved and she's been f***** over. I also confess that I'd go back and marry her just to stop her from marrying dad.

Funny: I confess that I sometimes paint my toenails black and hide them in socks. I just like painting them, haha.

Health: I confess that sometimes I starve myself just to see how long I can go without food. I also stay up for days just to see how far I can go. I don't treat myself well.

Love: I confess that I want someone to love me, and I'm confessing this because on the outside I'm that person who hates everyone and is all "tough" and s*** in front of others. I hate corny things, but I wish someone would love me soooo bad.

Other:

Relationship: I asked my best friend if she ever thought we could be more than just friends. It was the most f****** awkward thing ever. I only did it because I was depressed and wanted somebody to care about me, haha. God that day still haunts me; I'll regret it forever.

Religion: I talk to god all the time but I say I don't believe in him. I used to NOT believe in him, but now I have no idea. I don't believe all that religion s*** but maybe there is a higher power. I don't know what to believe. I'm not even sure about evolution. Also, when I was younger I thought for a very long time that I was part demon. Now I don't know... haha. It's weird how I can believe in demons and doubt god.

Revenge: I think a lot about revenge. Sometimes I act on it; I put a dead bug in my sister's food and she ate it. I stole a lot of stuff from classmates because I hated their f****** guts (ipods, watches, money, hahaha). I wish so badly I could take my dad's shotgun and hunt down all the f****** who screwed me up in school.

School: In elementary school I called 911 on the payphone and hung up. The principal, at lunch later, screamed at us all about how someone prank called 911 and 911 called back, and whoever did it would be expelled. I was never caught.

S**: I'm too embarrased to buy a butt plug, but I really really want one. I'd also like to be raped by a hot guy. Why do so many people want to be raped? Jeez. I say rape because I want him to hurt me. I've always wanted to be someone's fuckbuddy too, which is funny since I said "I wanna be loved!!" Yeah, I want to be loved eventually. But I also want to be f*****.

Strange: I once masturbated watching Spongebob. I didn't m********* BECAUSE it was Spongebob; I was just bored and on the couch and that was what was on. Hahaha.

Venting: I confess that I only see a therapist because I like yelling my frustrations at her. I'm supposed to be seeing her so I can keep getting prozac but I don't take it since I think it doesn't f****** help. I just wanna b**** at her. Yeah I am supposedly depressed but I don't think some pills are going to f****** change my life. I hate that doctors think pills are the solution to everything. Stupid f****.

Work: I'm unemployed. ): But I do confess that I clean around the house just so my parents will give me some positive attention/rewards. "Wow! The kitchen looks GREAT!!!" And I say "eh I was bored" and act like I don't care they're thanking me, but I secretly love it when I feel like I've done something right, for once.

.........end. For now.

2 Comments

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  • some how...i don't feel so alone anymore

  • What's a butt plug? And why do people wanna get raped?

    WHAT THE H*** IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD???

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