To live or not?

Im only young, so people say "You cant be..." but I am. I wake up each morning and wish I hadent, Ive told my friends after they made me, It made me feel terrible though, like I had hurt them. I wont tell my mum or dad about it becuase they wont belive me at all, or dismiss it instantly. Ive been cutting my self for a long amount of time, Ive written notes to the people I love and planned suicide... My friends tried to get me help, but I couldnt deal with telling all of this to a stranger when I hadnt even told THEM everything yet, I cant sleep anymore becuase of it, it hurts too much to pretend its not there, I just feel usless and not worth anyones time, Ive started to try and push everyone close to me away so that when I die it wont hurt anyone, all of my friends tell me Im "brilliant" and "Fantastic" but I dont belive them, becuase it cant be true.
I just want everything to end, my pain, but I dont want to cause anyone else...

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