Afraid to confront dad

A few weeks ago my dad, his friend, and I were talking about how in six years i'll graduate college and be a Pharmacist. My dad's friend Mike said "In sixteen years, she'll have a big family in a fancy house, and you (my dad) can live there and get taken care of all the time." Then my dad said something like "If I make it 16 years." He's been a smoker basically all his life, drinks beer every day, and was diagnosed with prostate cancer a few years ago. The Cancer is all cleared up and he's pretty healthy now, but that comment made me think how long is he really going to live? Will he be there when I get married? Will he meet his only granchildren? I want to make him quit smoking but I don't know how. Our family's always been pretty casual about it so if I say soemthing it'll be like coming out of nowhere. I don't know. I'm only 18, I shouldn't be worrying about these kinds of things. Right?

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  • No, you shouldn't have to worry about these things, but you are. Your family's MO may be to be causal about these things, but if this is something that is really scaring you, then who cares if it sounds like its coming out of nowhere? You love him, you worry about him, and this is on your mind. Just say something like "Dad, I am worried about you. I am worried that your habits will kill you and I won't have you in my life for much longer." And then leave it alone. You can't force him to listen or change his behavior, but at least you'll know that he knows your fears. That's all you can really do, but its something.

  • No one knows how long they have here on earth. Just tell your dad you care and would like to see him quit smoking and drinking for his own health. Live your life and enjoy the moments you have with him. Chances are he will be around for a very long time.

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