I'm 19 years old and I'm secretly and seriously in love with the actress Emma Watson. I fell in love with her when I was 14 years old.
I was going through a really really hard time in my life and I went to see the new Harry Potter movie at the time (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire) and when I saw her on that screen, I completely and utterly fell in love with this girl. She kind of saved my life, because she gave me something that I could look forward to, or at least enjoy... or something. Basically, seeing her made me feel normal again when nothing else did.
Anyways, I recently watched the 1st part of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows on dvd, and sort of re-fell in love with her (like I do every 8-10 months or so). So now I'm always thinking about her, wondering what she is doing at this exact moment, what she is thinking, what kind of music she is listening to, what her favorite song is this week, if she has ever been to my city, if she has ever felt like a freak like I do, if she ever feels really lonely, if she has a celebrity crush too, who her perfect man would be, if she has ever obsessed over another person who has no idea who she is like I do, etc. I understand very well that Emma and I have next to nothing in common, and she would probably find me repulsive as most women do, but I continue to be in love with her. It feels like there is a constant pressure on my heart.
I have a tendency to focus on only one thing (my music), and forget my personal hygiene, but then I think of Emma. I think of how classy and well put together she is, and how she is passionate about fashion, and she actually inspires me to clean myself up and to exercise a lot and to help me return to my old skinny-as-a-rail self.
Basically, I am completely obsessed with her. I have never expressed the full extent of my obsession to anyone, until now. I think about her almost all day long, and if I'm feeling lazy and know I should be doing something like practicing my scales with the metronome, or exercising, I just think "Come on, Emma Watson wouldn't be lazy. She'd just do it." I don't know if thats true, but that's what I think. When I lay down to go to sleep, I open my Pandora radio account and listen to the Harry Potter soundtracks and stare at the ceiling just dreaming about her. I think about holding her hand, listening to her voice, touching her skin, feeling her warmth, being on her mind. I know this is absolutely f****** ridiculous, but it's what I do. It's creepy as f***, but I can't help it.